Lactation, Difficulties With, And Associated Asshats

The BBQ Pit
#1

Dear Pituitary glands, milk glands, boobs, and associated anatomy,

You are not my friend. You tease me. You make 12oz of milk a day. Enough to give me hope of maybe one day making enough to feed my son, but never actually coming close. Why do you not release enough prolactin? Why do you not preform as expected?

I wish you were under warrenty. I wish you were covered by the lemon law. I would return you from whence you came in a hot second.

You make me very very sad, milk production parts. I cry every day because of you. I have tried to encourage you in so many ways- I have pumped and pumped you, taken nasty herbs and teas, tried massages, hypnosis, accupuncture, oatmeal, lactation consultants, and so many other things.

But you just won’t cough up the mommy milk.

Please wake up, milk parts. I am frustrated and sad and mad and so tired of working so hard and not getting anywhere.

-Inkleberry

Dear Doctor X-

Why haven’t you called me back? I have been calling for days. I am not making any significant milk. Things are only getting worse. You know very well that my only option left is a prescription from you. And you know I am sitting at home crying and crying waiting to hear whether I will get it or I should give up on nursing altogether. But you do not call. Not for two days now. I am mad and sad and hate sitting by the phone. Please call me, this isn’t funny anymore.
OK. Thx.
-Inkleberry
Dear BoobNazis-

Please stop sending me emails every day telling me that I’m lazy, abusive, and a horrible mom for feeding my son formula. Clearly, I never should have asked anyone from LLL or similar groups for help. The fact that my son would dehydrate and get sick within 24hrs if I tried to give him only the milk I do produce escapes you. You are clearly more committed to your dogma than the health of moms and kids.

But seriously, where the fuck do you get off? Is it not enough that I cry every day because I can’t make milk? That I have tried so hard to pump and make myself lactate that I have made myself physically ill and exhausted to the point where doctors had to tell me to stop? Somehow, though, you continue to feel justified in sending me nasty emails every day, 6 weeks after I aked you for help. Because name calling and fucking with me will clearly help me with a process I don’t have control of.

I am especially enamoured of the repeated suggestion that I drink a beer every time I nurse every day. In your fucked up world, feeding my baby formula makes me a monster, but drinking 6-8 or more beers a day makes me a good mom. What the fuck?

I hate you. You are making things worse. Kindly fuck off.

Secretly hoping to find you in a dark alley and poke your chocolate starfish with a sharp stick,
-Inkleberry

I am filled with grrrrr and sad. :frowning:
:frowning: :mad: :frowning: :mad: :frowning: :mad: :frowning: :mad: :frowning: :mad: :frowning:

#2

I am sorry for your :sad:. I sympathize with your :mad:.

Breast zealots make me want to hurl. mrs andros and I had a similar problem, although she would have been making enough had our son not suffered from reflux. We had to supplement with formula. Fortunately we got away with only a few veiled comments from arguably well-meaning people. But I sure wouldn’t have wanted to put up with more than that.

Keep your chin up. You’re doing all you can to do what’s best for your boy.

#3

Oh how I hate the breast zealots. I avoid their threads like the plague on another board I visit, and I too went to the LLL for help and got an earful about how much formula costs (3 times as much as it really does according to them) and other stuff.

I’m sorry they’re on your case inkleberry hugs

#4

I am so sorry that you are having this difficulty. How very frustrating for all concerned. Have you considered a federal mediator for your lactation department?

While it is true that alcohol can help with let down (I am speaking as a mom here, not as a nurse–I do ICU, not OB/GYNE), somehow I doubt knocking back all that beer will do much for ya (it would make me sleepy).

I coulda told ya about LLL–breastnazi’s extrordinaire…and you are spot on–they care much more about the ideology, than about the health of mom and baby.

I have never understood the lack of common sense when it comes to issues such as this. If you do not have enough milk–that does mean you are a “bad” mom or an inadequate woman–it means you don’t have enough milk. Back in the day, women made up a formula of evaporated milk and god knows what else (I had to learn the formula in nursing school, and also learned that it was nutritionally inadequate). Now we have excellent formulas (my fav choice was Carnation Good Start–easy on baby’s tummy and didn’t clump up). Common sense would indicate that it would be the best next choice, if breast milk is unavailable. (I have heard tell of breast milk banks, but I think they are only used for premies etc).

I wish you the best with all of this–it’s hard as hell.

#5

inkleberry, so sorry to hear of your difficulties. You deserve a lot of praise for trying so hard to make it work. Doctors don’t seem to realize that they need to get back to you right now – for some reason, babies aren’t willing to wait around for a few days to eat. Funny that.

I just have to post to say that not all LLL groups are like that. It totally depends on the leaders. My local group is really excellent at being nonjudgmental and supportive. I ended up with them after getting pissed off at the local hospital support group run by a RN, and going home in tears on more than one occasion. LLL saved my sanity, and reinforced to this first-time mother that it’s ok to believe in yourself and trust your instincts sometimes. Without them, I’d be neurotic by now.

#6

I am all about the breast feeding, but it would never occur to me to abuse anyone for feeding their child formula. Especially when they’re obviously doing everything humanly possible.
I had to suppliment for a few weeks, and then went to the breast full time. Even if you have to go to all formula, your baby will grow to be healthy and happy, just like the millions of other formula fed babies. And if the breast feeding works out later, great!

Don’t forget to take care of yourself. How about a nice bubble bath to help you relax? Maybe watch something funny to lift your spirits.

#7

My wife was fully into breast feeding for our first - except that it didn’t work. LLL came over, and told her that she wasn’t trying hard enough, but gave no suggestions.

The oldest is 23 and the youngest is 18, and they both did fine without breast feeding (and I had the wonderful feeding experience also.) Plus they were both lactose intolerant, but our doctor quickly recommended soy formula which worked fine. So hang in there, and don’t let the breast feeding fanatics tell you your baby is going to be sick if you use formula.

#8

Our experience was similar. My wife was getting little to no support in her breast feeding attempts from the local medical establishment, but our local LLL was very helpful and supportive, and their methods eventually clicked for us. Like andros our son had reflux too.

It was not a fun time all around and believe me I sympathize.

#9

OK, I’ll probably get flamed for this, but it worked for me. I BF’d both of my kids, the first ended up at 30 pounds by 9 months and was deemed the first overweight BF kid my doctor had ever seen. The second had other unrelated problems irrelevant to this post but she was BF’d for six months.

Try beer and juice. You have to drink a lot of fluids to feed a kid. I drank Guinness (lots of vitamins and calories) every time I BF’d during the day (I per feeding) and Apple juice during the night. The Guinness relaxes you and that is an important part of BF’ing.

I made so much milk; warning TMI:

We used it for coffee cream

And then just chill, if, you make enough to satisfy your kid, great, if you have to supliment, it’s still a great bonding thing to do as much as you can. Just love them.

#10

Can a lactose intolerant infant stomach breast milk, anyways? (My sister had to have special, prescription-only formula, it was so bad).

#11

Are you trying to exclusively pump? Or are you breastfeeding too? How do you know you are only making 12oz a day? Some women respond better to the pump than others. What pump are you using, how often are you pumping? Was your lactation consultant board certified? Sorry for all the questions, but it will help to get a better idea of what’s going on and see if I can help :). Please feel free to ignore me but I have done a lot of research on breastfeeding host a breastfeeding support chat once a week.

Please don’t beat yourself up about having to use formula. I have been combo feeding my 13 month old since she was 6 months and I stopped the futile effort of pumping at work. Any breastmilk is like money in the bank with regards to your daughter’s health. I also agree with the other posters that ‘breastfeeding nazis’ really suck and they give the rest of us supportive breastfeeding advocates a really bad name.

The breastfeeding board at Ivillage is great for support and questions and if you just want a shoulder to cry on from sympathetic women. It certainly saved my breastfeeding relationship when I was having problems.

Link

#12

Arrrgh!!! So…tired…of…questions…but…cannot…resist…

-Have had to pump exclusively while baby in and out of hospital (unrelated and long, don’t ask).

  • Child can only be breastfed sometimes anyway due to feeding issues (related to hospitalization- basically child compulsively thirsty and hysterical)
  • Have used many many pumps including Medela Classic, Symphony, and Pump In Style
  • Pump every two bloody hours. Even if child does breastfeed. Have done for months. Fills with grrr.
  • Multiple consultants have been involved, all certfied. Even spent much time at special breast clinic at hospital.
    -Also, I have mutant breasts
    -Have tried beer, herbs, teas, acupressure, compression, hypnosis, etc etc etc. You cannot name a thing I have not tried.

Trying to get domperidome, but dr. appears to be an asshat. Plan to storm office tomorrow.

#13

Infants with milk allergies (like mine) aren’t normally alctose intolerant, they’re allergic to proteins found in cow’s milk that aren’t in breast milk. But they can get into breast milk if the mom consumes dairy, so the mom usually has to cut dairy out of her diet as well.

ink, hang in there. Of course suppliment with formula if the tank’s empty, the health of the kid is what’s important. As you probably don’t need to hear again, but some people in this thread don’t seem to understand, is that mothers can (and usually do) start producing more milk if they’re constantly running out, and won’t start producing more unless they’re running out. So what typically happens is that the mother starts feeding formula, which reduces the demand for breast milk, which in turn further reduces the supply of breast milk, which increases the need for formula.

biddee, I’m jeanine123’s husband, if that means anything to you.

-lv

#14

Domperidone might not help with this, and in the meantime, it might give you cramps/diarrhea. Probably not, but you don’t strike me as someone with really good luck so far.

Supplement for all the intake that your baby needs/wants. I hate it when people add insult to injury just because something happened to be easy for them.

#15

Stop with the fucking lecture, please. That isn’t happening. Nothing increases supply. The formula isn’t the issue.

Some mothers can/do. I do not. See OP.

You fill me with grrr.

#16

But pooping is fun!

I know. They’re asshats. They fill me with grrr.

#17

Stress is not good for milk production.

These people are making you stressed.

If, say, sticking sharp pins up their butts, or whacking them repeatedly over the head with the dismembered and spiky parts of “Mr Pinchy” were to make you feel less stressed, I say go for it.

Here’s hoping your grrr leaks out and some more Yummy Mummy Milk leaks in…

#18

inkleberry, that completely came out wrong. You’re obviously doing everything humanly possible to keep your supply up, and you should be commended for working as hard as you do.

I didn’t mean to fill you with grrr.

The lecture was for people who are quick to suppliment and don’t realize that they’re probably reinforcing the problem. This is obviously not you. Since it’s you’re thread, I realize I should shut up about that now.

-lv

#19

Oh my god, inkleberry… are you ME?

My “baby” is now 9 years old, but when he was an infant I cried every day because my boobs wouldn’t cooperate. Lactation consultants, breast pumps, special pillows, nipple shields… eventually the pediatrician labelled my baby “failure to thrive” because I just wasn’t producing enough milk and he wasn’t latching on properly… told me to start using formula… I tried supplimenting with pumped breast milk for a while but it just dried up… I felt like such a failure.

But you know what? My son is healthy and happy and wonderful now despite all of it. It is painful as hell but regardless of what happens, it will eventually be in the past and everything will be OK.

hug

#20

I got so desperate last week I even got “Mr. Pinchy” out, hoping maybe a different pump would help. I then severely beat Mr. Pinchy. I felt better.

I will just keep ranting like a lunatic here. Perhaps we should take up a collection to get me a large number of cats and some mismatched shopping bags…