Whoa. All that quoted text was NOT in the box when I typed my reply. I think I accidentally tabbed into the “quote message in reply” box :X Sorry about that!
Ok. 
I am just twitchy right now. I get many lectures every day. Sometimes from asshats at the mall who see me feed my baby from a bottle and feel it is their sacred duty to come and correct my evil ways. I have boobnazi PTSD.
Father who has sat through this here. The baby was tongue tied with a weak suck and my wife didn’t produce much. We rented the $1200 pump, she went to the lactation specialist, she nursed 15 mins and pumped 30 mins every 3 hours 24 hours a day for 4 months. Beer, tea, root beer (and she HATES root beer), even miperidone didn’t help. She did her all and only barely managed to get the baby fed for 4 months, then was made to feel horrible about moving to formula gradually afterwards by the nursing-obsessed friends and relatives. Even if they did it underhandedly (typical quote: “Well, I feel bad that I couldn’t help you out more” or “So-and-so worked so well for me” or “Did the baby latch on OK?”).
The baby has been fine on exclusive formula for 4 months (with about 1 month half-and-half before that). Never been on antibiotics once in her first year of life (she’s 11 months now). When you are sleep deprived to begin with and stress yourself out so much over something that is pretty much replaceable, you miss out so much on those magical first months. Supplement with formula, get the baby to sleep well-fed, catch up as much as you can on sleep, and don’t stress out.
By 3.5 months, my wife, through herculean efforts, managed to save up about 2 weeks of milk, which we kept in the freezer. And it went bad. The stuff was worth more than its weight in gold, and we threw out about 100 oz of it. And we have friends who were making upwards of 60 oz a day…
Understandable. I think the perfect reply to the asshats would be to scream “This IS the good stuff! I pump every two hours to get it out! Do you wanna fucking TASTE it to make sure I’m doing it right?”
I meant to say the baby’s been formula fed from 4 months, with 1 month half-and-half.
A just FTR, I didn’t appreciate my medical school friends kindly informing me that the APA recommends at least 1 year of nursing and the WHO recommends 2. We know that, but sometimes it isn’t worth it. It is a great option if you can get it but if you can’t the alternative is pretty good too.
Move to formula without compunction and eliminate this largely unneeded stress.
Sometimes I look at them and say, straight faced, “Don’t worry, this is Daddy’s special salty milk.”
I may be a terrible person.
No, that’s awesome.
Disclaimer, I’ve never had a child.
That being said, I knew a woman I worked with who had a child, and my sister had a baby as well. Yes, breastfeeding is best, we get it. Big but coming.
Until I met my coworker, it didn’t even occur to me that breastfeeding doesn’t always come naturally. She couldn’t breastfeed her son, despite her best efforts. And all she got from the nurses was abuse and condecension. My sister had a hard time too. All the docs and nurses advised she try and try some more, and my nephew was underweight!!! This, for me, is a serious issue, especially since I’ve never had a child! How many poor women are there out there who are terrified of formula and simultaneously not succeeding at breast feeding! And, I might add, how does an angry and accusatory health care professional help the situation at all?
Gar. this gets on my nerves, especially after seeing too many well intentioned mothers struggle and feel guilty at not breast feeding as though it were as second to nature as taking a piss.
/rant
inkleberry thanks for answering my questions. I love that you can still have humour in this situation. And I’m feeling lots of grrr’s for you especially since you’ve really done all you can. I really commend you for the effort you’ve put in. Thanks for sharing the saga of the boobs too…I don’t mean to laugh at you, but your style of writing is so wonderfully sarcastic, that I couldn’t help a big grin imagining you whipping your boobs out for the LC :D. I’m not even going to try and offer any suggestions because obviously you know what you’re doing, and I’m hoping that the motilium will help (I know a lot of women who have seen drastic jumps in their supply from the motilium). Actually, I do have one suggestion…have you tried a hand pump like the Avent Isis? Something struck me about your situation in that you have to have shallow, quick, suction and I know with the Isis you can control the quickness/shallowness of the suck better than you can with the electric pumps. I know someone who exclusively pumped with the Isis for about 4 months (although that’s not recommended…the Isis is for occasional use only under normal circumstances (for the benefit of lurkers)).
Even our LC says ‘First feed the baby’. If you aren’t making enough, feed the baby, then work on making more (which you’ve done and done and done!). Starving a baby is not going to get anyone anywhere and that’s what a lot of people don’t seem to get. And IMO that is what formula is there for. Some women can really not make enough milk and all the teas, herbs and drugs can only do so much. As I said in my previous post, any breastmilk you can give your baby is like gold. Here is a great link that shows that however long you breastfeed for, you’ve done a good thing for your baby.
What if I want to wean my baby .
And Lordvor hi!!! Nice to ‘meet’ you. Didn’t know any fellow dopers were also connected to my other board! I post under the screenname biddeeanu and host Friday chat. Say hi to Jeanine and lil C. for me. I hope he’s stopped giving you hell…:D…LOL.
Yes, that sounds good for your stress levels
You know what else is good for your stress levels?
Fun Stuff
(and featuring happy bottlefeeding babies and all. Takes forever to load, mind you , but it’s worth it…)
Hey, inkleberry, i’m sorry I suggested drinking Guinness in the other thread. Please don’t poke my nether regions with a sharp stick. :eek:
My wife’s a doula and Lamaze teacher, and she says this to all her clients:
“What’s right is what’s right for YOU”.
Good luck, and illigetimi non carborundum.
Inkleberry, the BoobNazis will deny to the day life on earth ends that breastfeeding is only important for the first 6 weeks, and that’s because of the jumpstart breastmilk gives to the baby’s immune system. They want you to BF until the kid starts college, or thereabouts.
Even if you can’t produce or underproduce, basic kiddy maintenance and sanitary practices will handle the vulnerable period until the immune system starts working. Screw LLL; feed him formula. Hell, block their e-mails since they fill you with grrr.
Inkleberry Don’t worry about the Boob Nazies. (Love that name, BTW). My mother never made enough milk for my brother, my sister, and me when we were little, so I was weaned on goats’ milk. It didn’t make her a bad person. If people cannot understand that you simply cannot make enough milk, then fuck 'em.
Hang in there. Just make sure that Inklebaby has enough for his needs. It doesn’t matter the source… just that the boy gets what he needs.
Where do people get off?! That makes me so mad that people would be harassing you because of not fully breastfeeding. Even it if was by choice, who’s business is it anyways? When I plan to have kids, I don’t think I will be breastfeeding, is it anyone’s concern but mine? Once again, we have people thinking they have a right to dictate what someone does with their body.
I am SO MAD for you!!! If you want, I’d be more than happy to give them a piece of MY mind.
Fucking people, what happened to fucking choice???
GRRRRR!!!
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
I’m so sorry, Inkleberry. I won’t bore anyone with my stories, but I’ve had production problems with both of my kiddos (youngest is now 6 months). I, too, have mutant breasts and have tried every technique and every pump to improve my output. My older child got a good deal of formula at daycare as an infant, and my daughter is occasionally supplemented as well. I really feel for you. The “mommy guilt” is so awful already without people critisizing your poor boobies, too–it’s not like we want to deprive our babies of breastmilk, for cryin’ out loud 
Having said that, your doc may not know what domperidone is since it’s not marketed in the US, and even if he does know, he probably won’t prescribe it for you since even compounding pharmacies here cannot make it for you anymore. (Thank you, FDA, for once again fucking around with people’s health, because gosh darnit, we just don’t know well enough how to take care of ourselves…but that’s another rant.) He may prescribe Reglan for you–perhaps that’s why the delay in his response? He’s trying to figure out what you need? (I know, I know, why doesn’t he just pick up the frickin’ phone and call you??) I can send you the URL for an overseas company that will express ship domperidone to you if you’re interested, but it’s not cheap. I did experience some, errr, lower intestinal symptoms the first few days I took it, but I was fine after a few days.
Anyway, I sincerely wish you the best of luck and I hope things get better for you quickly, whatever you decide to do. Sometimes weaning or purposeful supplementation really is the best choice for mom and baby, especially if mom’s under this much stress. **Don’t feel guity if you choose to do that. ** You’re still a good mom
Since we seem to be weighing in here with BF/baby stories, let me tell you how bad a mom I was.
First child, 1989–BF for 4 weeks. Could not sleep and was (in retrospect) drowning baby in milk. could not get enough sleep-beat myself up for 9 months and was horribly depressed thinking I had post-partum depression etc. Turns out I had hypothyroidism (one sign is chronic fatigue–and I mean mono-like/unable to function/hold my head up fatigue). She is now 15, very pretty and in the honors program at HS–yeah, formula is the debil’s work. :rolleyes:
Second child, 1992-birth weight 10’5" and 22 inches long. Ya know how they say to do a football hold? Like hell. Stopped BF after 14 days when I found my toddler standing ON the kitchen table(anything for attention, I guess). I could not figure out how to accomodate holding baby (needed both hands, believe me) and also taking care of toddler. Those What to Expect Books about read to the toddler whilst BF’ing the babe–total hooey for this circumstance. He is now 13 and 5’10 and in the gifted program, so I’m not worried.
Third child, 1998–BF for 7 months and loved it. (third time’s a charm!). Of the 3, he is the one who was the most ill throughout his infancy–RSV, croup, URI’s, bronchitis, you name it. He is 6 now and cute as hell.
Why do I bore you with all this? To say (in my longwinded way) that there are as many reasons for NOT BF as there are women. I never had a lack of milk–I had other issues. Once all those issues were dealt with, I had a successful BF experience. I quit at 7 months b/c I was tired of it-another excellent reason to not BF. It sounds like you have had a hell of tough row, and the judgemental crap doesn’t help one bit.
In essence, IMO, BF is a choice for most women. For some, it is not possible and for others, it may not work out. Not BF in NO way reflects on your ability to mother nor should it. People who accost others in malls etc to show them the Light fill me with alot more than grrrr.
Best of luck to you. INthe interest of clarity–I am not anti-BF. I cannot stand the holier than thou attitude espoused by many “acolytes”. Common sense seems to have been lost somewhere along the way…
inkleberry, this is one of the things I’m afraid of when my first kid comes along. I really want to BF, but having had a breast reduction, who knows if it’s even going to be possible? (Long convoluted story, let’s just say I’m not happy with my plastic surgeon for a few of the lies he told me). I’m going to try as hard as I can, but the last thing I’ll need are Boob Nazis making me feel like a bad mom.
Personally, I always feel like if you’re worried about something like this, it makes you a good mom. I think you’re a good mom.
E.
to:inkleberry
from: WhyNot
re: OP
ditto.
Hang in there. Or don’t. You’re a good mommy either way. And so am I! Screw the Boob Nazis! 
Elza, I’ve had a reduction and was told the chances are pretty good I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed. Since the chances of my actually giving birth are pretty much zero (my choice, various medical reasons) I figured it didn’t matter. I’d rather adopt somewhat older kids anyway, if I have 'em, so whether I can produce or not is a non-issue for me.
The kid’s gotta eat. Anything else is secondary. Sure, breastfeeding is great for them. But if it’s not working, the kid’s still gotta eat. Bring on the formula, I say. Anybody who says otherwise is an ass.
inkleberry, was it your thread in MPSIMS in which I said no matter what you do, someone will criticize you for it?
I am almost cracking up (in dismay) at this thread, because I have been criticized for the exact opposite!
I am the mistress of discretion, and yet I have gotten nasty comments about breastfeeding my baby, and more glares than you can imagine. When ValleyGirl was 4 weeks old, an old man complained when I tucked her under a blanket against my chest because he “knew” what was going on under there! As ValleyGirl approached age 1, nosy-ass people again and again asked when I was going to wean her, because obviously it was just sick to have a 10 month old sucking on a breast. And now that she’s 13 months old and still nursing 2-3 times a day, well…she clearly will have psychological issues. And I clearly have psychological issues too.
If this is what they mean by “It take a village to raise a child”, we’re all surrounded by village idiots.