Hi everyone,
The title pretty much tells you what I am looking for. I know we have some folks here who have been through this, so advice would be very appreciated.
I’m waiting for a consultation with the surgeon to discuss whether I need a lumpectomy or a mastectomy. If I have to have a mastectomy, I’m hoping they’ll just take the other one while I’m there.
I have a low tolerance for pain so I’m hoping for good meds! I just turned 70 so who cares if I get addicted. 
Thanks for your help.
My best friend went through this about 8 years ago. One of the best things she did early on was to choose a book about it to suggest for the rest of us. That way, we all had much more of an understanding what all was going on, without her having to explain things over and over. I very much appreciated it. She’s doing great now, by the way.
Good luck!
I am so sorry to hear this. Rooting for you!!
Wishing you all the best, a perfect outcome, a quick trip, a clean bill of health, minimal pain, and side effects from treatment that are so ridiculously minor that you literally forget to mention them to those closest to you.
Do you have a recommendation?
If one has a propensity towards getting breast cancer, that would be the thing to do. Make your wishes known to your doctor.
Best wishes!
Wishing you the best. It’s stressful!
Write down your questions for your doctor. It’s too hard to remember all of them otherwise. If you can, have someone with you to take notes during your appointments. Write down answers as you receive them.
Join breastcancer.org. Read the articles and join the message board.
There’s a great deal of misinformation out there. Both the internet and your well-meaning friends will tell you crazy shit. Retain your critical thinking skills. Ask qualified people to answer your questions.
Be clear about what you want and put it in writing. Get it into your medical record. For example, when you decide whether you want reconstruction or flat closure, get it documented and be sure the surgeon is clear on this.
My surgeon gave me lorazepam and tramadol afterward, which was all I needed for pain management. I took a few tramafol initially, and lorazepam for a few days, then as needed. Very little post-surgical pain. I recently had a laparoscopic hysterectomy and the post-surgical pain was low grade.
If you should need it, chemo isn’t as bad as it used to be. There are many options, and immunotherapy options. For most people, the nausea control is satisfactory. I found losing my hsir interesting, but if you have stronger feelings, you can ask about “cold capping.”
Radiation is unnerving but its major effects are typically dermatological and fatigue.
So-called post-treatment hormone treatment (tamoxifen or an aromatase inhibitor) can be annoying, but is worth it for subsequent prevention.
Complementary interventions can be very helpful. Yoga, meditation, massage, diet, exercise, etc. are often offered or suggested by allopathic providers. Timing is important (for example, Yes, even a little walking every day during trestment is helpful. No, don’t take certain supplements during chemo.)
Most allopathic interventions have a good research base. Most alternstive approaches don’t. Some of the latter may be helpful adjunctively, while others are quackery and may be dangerous.
You get to make the decisions, which can be exhausting. I’d suggest getting a therapist now, someone who is educated about cancer care and the emotional and psychological aspects of this.
I’m 11.5 years out from bilateral mastectomy wirh flat closure. I had 4 rounds of chemo, 33 of radiation, and 10 years of tamoxifen. It was a long haul. I’m doing great, and wish the same for you.
This. There isn’t better advice than this 
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Writing doctor questions down before you go is important and taking notes at appts also.
Let the doctor know you are apprehensive about pain control so they can work out a plan with you ahead of time that is reassuring because dread makes it all harder. Don’t forget that your pharmacist can be very helpful in you getting the most out of your pain meds-scheduling, dosing, handling any side effects, etc.
Like @susan I had a laparoscopic total hysterectomy and went home that afternoon without needing heavy drugs. Working with my pharmacist did fine with lower level pain meds augmented with carefully crafted and scheduled acetaminophen and ibuprofen. They also helped me handle the side effects of the opioid pain meds, which can be frustrating if not headed off. It’s not the addiction that will get you, it’s the death-dying constipation
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I’m a big believer in support groups for challenges like this. Get hooked up with support before your surgery. Zoom groups are convenient and you can go in your pajamas! Find a ‘bosom buddy’ from a support group to lend morale support and tell you about resources near you and just to be a friendly voice when you need it. The ‘woods are scary, dark and deep’~don’t go in alone. Of course we cancer surviving and thriving Dopers will be here for you.
Those of us who aren’t cancer survivors will be here for you, too. 
I wish you the most trouble-free journey that can be had.
Big hugs to you at a challenging time.
Another well-wisher here, @not_what_you_d_expect . I hope everything goes as easily and well as it can.
This was my mother’s plan, roughly 25 years ago. She actually had to fight with insurance to get it covered, and ended up getting one of the hospital’s Patient Advocates to intervene on her behalf. It was eventually approved, and she had a double mastectomy. While examining the tissue in the unaffected breast, they found some cancer cells. So in her case, it seems to have been the right decision.
Now, in modern days..we are tempted to discuss things like this with our favorite AI. If you do that, treat it as a source of discussion points and launching pad for research. Take what you get from there to your doctor, or to other trusted sources. It can be great for “what about this”, but it’s not a definitive source for life and death discussions.
Definitely find out how much restriction you’ll be under after treatment, so you can plan for that. Hopefully you have family and friends nearby to lean on. This is the time to do that. They will probably want to help, and you are going to be stretched thin at times.
Good luck, and keep us posted as you find out more!
I’m sorry.
But I know you’ll do great.
Post-surgical pain management is so much better than the olden days. Insist on it. And don’t be afraid to ask for it. They’re very careful with pain medication for seniors. Fall risks are real.
I’m afraid, in these trying times with healthcare you’ll not be able to ask for a double mastectomy without medical need. They might can find it, or a logical reason to do it.
My other advice is do any post-op physical therapy they offer. As bad as I hate it, it does help to get you up and moving around quicker.
Good luck.
Excellent advice. It really does make a difference.
Sorry to read this - hoping for a swift procedure and a strong outcome. Having just going thru my own unexpected journey with the big C, trust the medicine and ask lots of questions. We’re pulling for ya!
I’ll relate the story of my mother-in-law, who didn’t get full-blown cancer but had over ten (!) surgeries for precancerous tumors in her breasts between 1978 and 1995.
When she got the last one detected, she went for the double mastectomy, and (though it caused some issues with her husband) she really did the right thing.
She’s now 90, living on her own (with some help from us) and has more energy and joie de vivre than many 70-year-olds I know.
She’s definitely way out on the positive end of the bell curve, but I relate her story to let you know that it is possible to get through this and be healthy and well on the other end. She’s lived longer as a survivor than she did before she knew of her tumors.
My best wishes to you and may your outcome also be favorable!
I have not had breast cancer, but I’m sorry you’re going through this. My only meagre offering is to beware of toxic positivity. If you feel any kind of way about this - angry, scared, or anything - it’s okay! Don’t let anyone tell you to smile when you don’t feel like it.
(A word from my favorite journalist.)
My sister in law’s mom was got by Mr. Cancer before she was 35. Sister in law also didn’t make it to 35. Neice had her set proactively removed the minute she turned 18 (well, that’s when she started trying to convince doctors to do a voluntary double with no cancer diagnosis, but that’s a struggle for another thread). Neice just passed 40 years old and is doing fine.
OP: blah! Fuccancer. Get well soon.
Thank you everyone for all of the great advice and good wishes. My mother had it when she was much younger than I am now, so I’m grateful that I’m no longer concerned with my appearance like she was.
I feel very stoic about it right now. I’m very determined to be brave through it all. I hope I can still hold on to these feelings as this progresses.
Thanks again. I appreciate you all very much.
It was “”Dr. Elisa Port
I see this was actually 9 and a half years ago so I’m not sure how up to date it is
But it was very helpful. I also learned that we friends needed to shift from problem solving mode to loving supporter mode. We needed to leave the expertise to the experts