So, I met a conspiracy nut yesterday

The other day, Nat and me were contacted by a prospective roommate. This 19 years old girl working at the mall across the street calls enquiring about the room so I tell her that it’s available and I answer some of her questions. Before long, she’s told me that her boyfriend broke up with her, what her plans for christmas are, asked me about our (nonexistent) plans are and a few other things I forgot. It’s been 20 minutes and I have her categorized as a very talkative person. By then, I am bored and I give the phone to my wife (no reason why I should suffer this alone) who wraps this up masterfully and hangs up. Ok, no big deal, a somewhat lonely talktative person. Nothing wrong with that.

The day after, she calls again for an update of the status of the room so I invite her to come visit the room the same evening and give her our address. She shows up. shortly afterwards and once again, the three of us start making small talk. This goes on for a while and in the middle of the conversation, My wife mentions something about the Bush administration shortcomings when it comes to environmental issues. Big mistake. We gave her an opening. In the next 30 minutes or so, this young lady makes us privvy to several facts:

While she was browsing some CIA website, she found this mind-control project named MK2 and when she tried to input a password, the got a message saying : you might be detained.

Of course, the CIA is now monitoring her now. Kinda like the corporations that control the government are monitoring everybody with the help of tens of thousands of satellites in orbit.

And speaking of the government, there IS an area 51 where they keep several aliens of various species. She has proof of this because her father used to be in some black ops division (special forces, blue team) assigned to said area and he has seen the aliens with his own eyes.

But do not be too quick to judge the government for all this, because in fact, The united kingdom controls the u.s . This is easy to confirm, step in any courtroom and you’ll see a yellow fringe around the american flag which means you are under british maritime law.

This was all stuff she told Nat while I was sitting on a sofa nearby trying very hard to keep a neutral expression on my face. You see, I was very hard not to laugh when she mentionned something about people thinking she was insane or whatnot…

Like with so many other things, I never truly believed people like this existed. Now I know, I’ve met one.

I hope she moves in.

You don’t want her to move in, my friend. You’ll become our heroic protagonist after your wife mysteriously disappears. All the conspiracy theories are TRUE and you’ll be caught in them. And no one will believe you. Haven’t you ever seen a movie? Better start boning up on your gunplay and one-liners.

DUDE!

Isohopeshemovesinbecauselike,thesealienshavebeenprobingmyheadandaskingmequestionsabout,like,whereArea51isandI’mlike,dudes"Idon’tknow",butthey’relike,welldude,tellusorwe’regonnastickananalprobeupyourbuttandit’llsucktrustmedude!AndI’mlike,"NOOO!"Buttheydiditanyway, andthentheytookmetoMarsandputmeinamuseumfor6years,kindalikethatold’TwilightZone’episode.Fuckin’Martians!! :mad:

Tripler
It took all of my energy not to hit the space bar whilst typing that.

What he said

I bet her boyfriend broke up with her because he was a special CIA op. and his assignment of brainwashing her of some secret is now over…

Luckily, she has left behind 19 clues so she will again be able to remember her $500,000,000,000 secret.
18… not quite enough… 20… way too much…
19 sounds just about right.

I hope she moves in… you need to set up a blog for her. I would read it everyday.

I work with a few. One of the guys from work goes home a different way each night (just in case.) They have been telling me that the economy is going to crash for 3 years now. (Last time I challenged them on that fact, they told me that “I can only tell you what will happen, not WHEN.”) It was amusing at first. It is annoying now.

Sadly, I’ve known a couple of people like that.

But what if they AREN’T crazy, HUH? What will happen when the truth comes to light?

Ahem.

I read about the fringe on the flag thing from one of Icke’s books.

Some people also think that the fringe on the flag means they don’t have to pay income tax because the fringe is indicative of admiralty law and there’s no income tax under admiralty law.

Yeah, I ran into one of them in a Tax Court courtroom once. I think he was one of the early proponents of the theory; the look on the judge’s face was worth it.

Does she wear a tinfoil helmet to keep them from beaming the thoughts from her brain?

So…

You still got her number?

You mean you guys didnt know we brits were in charge?

Blair is very cunning looking like Bush’s lapdog but no its actually the other way round.

So, what is her opinion on the flu shots? Some kind of secretive mind control experiment in a shot that makes the receiver of it the instant lap dog of The Man or what?

You need variety in your life, man. Let her move it. Get a web cam. You owe this to your Doper friends who have no life.

You could turn it into some kind of independent black comedy film if Steven Speilberg didn’t control all of Hollywood.

So ya’ll mean to tell me the CIA and FBI aren’t monitoring our email and phone calls?

Wake up and smell the roses…of course they are.

To them we are all potential terrorists

the fringe on the flag thing has been going around since at least the 1980’s. It’s supposedly symbolic that we are under maritime law (which is supposedly a form of martial law) and that the Constitution has been suspended.

It’s the sort of Conspiracy theory so off-beat the John Birch Society even went out of its way to refute it.

You’re all missing the BIG picture…

There is no spoon.

There is it’s just a 1920s Style Death Spoon so you cant see it as a spoon

As funny as that is, be careful. Some of those people can be pretty unstable and we don’t want to hear about a fellow doper being found under their house…

That’s exactly what THEY want you to do.

If we’re under maritime law, can I be a pirate?

Yarr!