And there is this from experience: When bathing a boy baby, never have him facing you when putting him into the nice, warm water.
Macrofluviuous, Scylla 
Been there, done that, and while it’s funny in retrospect, it’s even funnier when it happens to someone else. The trick is to remember it happens to everybody else.
Two anecdotes of my own:
Child #1, a boy now 4 1/2 only produced a poopy nappy about every 10 days until he started on solids. (for those not “in the know”, it’s not uncommon, nor a matter of concern for breast fed babies). His record was 16 days. Dad was the unlucky parent in charge when the record ended. The best I can describe it was like using a can of chocolate whipped cream and finding that you can’t switch it off.
Child #2, a girl now 2 1/2 was also breastfed but pooped much more frequently. Her favourite time was bathtime. Looked into the bathrooom once when things had gone suspiciously quiet. B1 & B2 had decided that the poop in the bath was not good, so they tried to dispose of the evidence by throwing all the floaties out of the bath. Now they were liberally plastered on all the walls of the bathroom.
Ah, those truely prosaic moments of parenthood!
Wow. Talk about your immaculate conceptions…
And I agree with Scylla. The Chancling has produced some stupendous acheivements in her 8 months on this earth.
Scylla, I damn near cried, I laughed so hard!
As I have said before on this board, EJ is not much of a diaper-changer. If I will be home within the hour, he’ll let it wait. Yes, even a poopy one.
But mamma got her sweet revenge. Once, Zack pooped on daddy just as daddy was lifting him up out of the bathtub and hugging him. By the time I got home, it was all over but the bitching, but it was hysterical, especially when he couldn’t find the wipes and tried to take care of the problem with bath towels. A little late-night laundry, anyone?
Parenting is such an interesting mix of psychosis and good clean fun!
My best friend’s child (their first) slipped his diaper at the ripe old age of 10 days and got himself christened “Poodini” for his trouble.
Won’t that one be fun to trot out when he’s 17… 
Oh, and I agree. What’s up with Don’t Poop on the Cat?
I’m seven months pregnant with my first.
I was scared of labor.
Now I’m scared of diapers…real scared.
What have I gotten myself into?
Having lately embarked on the wonders of parenthood myself, I thought I’d share some of the Teeth household rules:
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In this house, we sleep through the night. At least eight hours. Thank you for complying with management’s wishes on this one.
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I know you are hungry. I’m whipping out the food as fast as I can. Before you give me that “I’m dying” scream, please consider that it does take some time to unbutton a shirt.
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In the same vein, when you are done eating, please do not try to take the nipple with you. It does not detach. And your father would like it back someday in one piece.
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The next time I take off your diaper and you decide to pee and hit your father right between the eyes, warn me first so I can set up the video camera.
Here are some tips for you, ellykat:
1)Have 2-3 wipes already laid out. Even if you have the pop-up kind.
2)Have your diaper already opened and ready to put on the baby.
3)Master holding your baby’s ankles up with ONE hand.
4)If you have a boy, keep your mouth closed until the fresh diaper is on his little butt. Trust me on this one.
Hoo Boy. I’d have to agree with all of this. I’m stunned at my speed changing a diaper. My wife can hand me the kid, turn around to pick up Son, and I’m halfway done with Darling Daughter. Shorter if no poop.
Oh, and Daughter is also a streaker. I’ve almost resorted to duct tape.
When the Spritle-let was born, mommy was recovering from 25 hours of labor (10 cm w/o any pain meds) and a C-section. The poor lady couldn’t get out of bed for a couple of days. I ended up with diaper duty (doody ) until we got home from the hospital (4 days later). I got one word and one word only:
Meconium
She stills owes me - big time.
Actually, I love being with my son. I love bathing him, feeding him his after-bath bottle, changing him, everything!
Don’t worry about it. You won’t even care. (A nice little side effect of Sleep Deprevation.)
OMG!!! Hilarious!
I guess I was lucky, none of my boys played with thier diapers.
I think the next funniest thing I read in this thread was when wolly said “Macrofluviuous”.
Well, I am going to play with my potty-trained son now
That was so funny I almost peed in my pants!!!
Oh, my, yes. Meconium. I have concluded that meconium-and-feathering would be a crueler punishment than tarring-and-feathering.
My three-year-old daughter is a nudist. She sees no reason whatsoever to be clothed when she’s home. Unless she decides to play SuperDog (her superhero alter ego) and put on a cape.
Like now, for instance. She’s naked except for her superhero cape (beautifully crafted by her grandma as part of a Halloween costume), jumping on the couch, attempting flight more fervently than the Wright Brothers.
She’s a trip, I’m tellin’ ya.
Copping a squat on our cat (who is named Jon Benet, but that’s another story,) has become a minor focus of my daughter’s existence.
I’m sure that when she grows up, all her toilet seats are going to have those warm fuzzy covers on them.
Part of the attraction is probably the danger of the undertaking. Jon Benet has claws, and feels justified in using them when people try to sit on her. Other than that she’s pretty friendly. She hugs the cat and pets it, and it likes it.
Sometimes though the cat will be asleep and my daughter will attempt to remove her diaper, straddle the cat, and let one rip. If the diaper is all soggy, she can get it off pretty easily. If it’s fresh, she can’t. In these latter situations she settles for letting one rip in the diaper while standing over the cat.
The cat is not thrilled with the situation, and bolts out of from under my daughter in Medias poopus. My daughter thinks this is hilarious and laughs her fool head off even if the cat knocks her down in its escape attempt.
My wife and I find this behavior somewhat disturbing, and attempt to curb it. I’m pretty sure my daughter was only successful in pooping on the cat the first time she tried it.
Everybody except the cat was rolling on the floor laughing when it happened, and I think my daughter is trying to recapture the perfection of that moment.
Probably the most disturbing thing about the whole issue is that I find the idea of waiting until somebody (or a cat,) is asleep, then sneaking over and taking a dump on them to be an oddly attractive and compelling scenario, though so far I haven’t tried it.
- I cant stop laughing. I can hardly breathe.
- What precisely is Meconium?
- I’m saving this thread on my HD for when I become a father. I have NO doubt it’ll be handy.
- Pooping on anyone or anything in their sleep is a downright hilarious idea to me. I need help.
- After reading the explanation of ‘pooping on the cat’, I turned to look at my cat who was sleeping behind me. He’s now gone, and cant be found. Makes me wonder just how psycic he is, damnit…
Can’t wait to be a daddy!
I thought it was “Merconium,” but I could be wrong.
Basically the baby doesn’t poop while it’s in the womb. This isn’t such a big deal since the baby doesn’t eat either. However, the baby does need to dispose of used red blood cells and other waste products. It retains these in its bowels until after it’s born, and then poops them out over the first day or so. There can be quite a lot of it. It’s black, odorless, and has the consistency and stickiness of roofing tar.
[/QUOTE]
2. What precisely is Meconium?
[/QUOTE]
Baby’s First Poop.
It’s a funky blackish-greenish color, and sticky, sticky, sticky. Not exactly a joy to behold. In most cases, there’s not exactly copius amounts of it, but it doesn’t take much. Just a little dab is usually enough to wallpaper your entire house.
[sub]did I mention it was sticky?[/sub]