It is tempting, isn’t it?
Oh Dear God, this is the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks… (then again, Scylla could probably make a field guide to lesser invertebrates sound hilarious) 
Upon asking my cousin why both her knees and her left arm were covered in scabs, she recounted a story of making a cross-room, one-handed, diving scoop to intercept a “present” that was about to be deposited by her 18 month old daughter onto the new beige berber.
For the childless ones, imagine actually feeling relieved that you have a handful of poop…
I have an idea for a very evil thread.
When we brought home our first son, I learned that my husband is capable of an incredible, high pitched squeal when he is hit full in the face with baby pee. Mr. Tabby normally has a deep speaking voice, which made it all the more hilarious. Since then he has learned a great deal about calculating the possible trajectory of liquid missiles from babies. He’s quite good at diaper changing now, for which I am grateful.
Ever clean poop out of a laundry chute? In a way, it was a clever place to put the poop; after all, the “poopy went bye-bye”.
Scylla, thanks a million for the poop-on-the-cat explanation. I can’t stop laughing, and will most likely be fired within the next 10 minutes.
Do share.
RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY!!!
While I was recovering from my 52 hour labor & delivery marathon, my husband got to change the First Poop. Meconium combined with a guy who had never changed diapers… it took 9 minutes and maybe 20 wipes… we got the whole thing on video… it was hilariou.
:eek:
A nurse was in the room when I found flodjunior’s meconium in his diaper. “What do I do with this?” I asked in dismay. With a practiced hand, she carried the (naked) baby over to the sink, turned on the tap, and washed off his butt under running water. Problem solved.
Flod2k was kind enough to rid himself of his meconium while still in the womb.
Dammit, Dr. Teeth, got to the sig before I did!
Scylla, I am still laughing so hard I’m making wierd snorting sounds. I really don’t want to wake the young’un, who slept from 10:30 pm last night until 7:00 am this morning! Woo hoo! A first!
I did that too, though I had a bit of an excuse - I was two weeks late. I was also born with a cowl on my head and a blood clot in each hand, the nurse said this meant I had ‘The Power’, whatever that meant…I have read that the cowl of skin over the head makes me a ‘water witch’ or dowser, but haven’t found out anything about the blood clots.
My apologies, I meant to put in a quote before that post…why can’t we edit posts on this board?
Flod2k came five days after his due date. I think the reason he couldn’t wait to poop was that I had hyperemesis gravidarum right up until the end. In other words, I was puking all the time. I actually puked mid-contraction in early labor, and I’m not saying I’d rather rip off my nipples with a fork than do that again but it’s damn close. Anyway. The midwife was of the opinion (and I think she’s dead on) that at some point, when I was puking, flod2k just couldn’t hold it anymore, because of either the compression or “transient fetal distress”.
Hey, I don’t care. I didn’t have to clean it up, since my waters broke at the hospital. (Tip O’The Day For Expecting Couples: Arrange to have her waters break at the hospital. Much better than flooding your own bed, or a grocery store aisle, or what have you.) I’ve been told that in some places meconium poop in the amniotic fluid is treated as a major medical emergency, but it wasn’t for us. The midwife just told me she had to suction his nose before I got to hold him, which took about thirty seconds.
I read somewhere that meconium in the baby’s lungs can cause pneumonia… Please correct me if I’m disremembering, Dopers…
Heh heh. You gotta get up pretty early in the morning to beat old Dr. Teeth. Congrats on the youngster sleeping through the night. Mine first did that at 6 weeks. Yes, I know; I’m damn lucky.
When my daughter (now 13, no diapers but hormonal)was a baby, we used to dress her in those little terry pajamas that look like wetsuits. One piece, covers them from neck to toe, much like a sausage actually. Anyway, she filled 2 of those )(*&?%?& pajamas with poop in the same day. Right up to the armpit.
I noticed that with some practice, both hubby and I could stop eating dinner, go change an almost radioactive diaper, wash our hands and go back to eating. 
I am sssssssooooooooooooo glad both kids are out of that stage.
Having babies is NOT for wimps, people!!!
My ex-wife had a niece who was only 1 year old. Krissy (the niece) was born on July 11th.
When the kid was staying with us one evening, I had to change her poopy diaper, which led me to christen this sweet little girl the 7/11 crapshooter…
Nuff said…
I am so glad this thread was resurrected, as I missed it the first time around!
Scylla you are the master!
However you forgot
Do not alert us to the fact you have poop in your diaper by pushing things we want/need (like a car key or mommy’s lipliner) into the side of it!
And, I need to know, how does that anti-gravity poop work anyway? How in the name of everything logical can my kid crap UP her back?
In this house we call it “stool velocity”. Just be glad it didn’t come out when you had her diaper off.