Just a few tips for you ladies. ( Sue I hope you don’t mind me hijacking your topic )
I love to give a lady pleasure but before hand please be sure and wash that thang…the whole thang and nothing but the thang ok? Inside and out. A little bit of musky odor can be sexy but too much of a good thing is still too much.
If you get carried away, try and remember not to put a head lock on the hubby with your thighs and calves, this ain’t the WCW and most of us big strong men still have a fragile neck. Also there is very little air in the muff diving arena, so give us a second to get a gulp now and then.
After we are through and crawl up on top of you to complete the sex act, don’t avoid kissing us just because our chins look like we have been eating glazed doughnuts. You know where that tongue has been.
And please forgive us if we don’t use sophisticated techniques like the “butterfly flick”. Most of us have only heard about it on an episode of LA LAW and don’t have a clue what it really is.
And finally remember, getting your crotch eaten is a privledge not a right.
I actually kind of like the figure-4 on the head with the thighs and calves. I brace the weight with a tight grip of my arms around the thighs and hips and the hands firmly gripping each ass.
Y’know, pretty soon this is going to get to the point when I’m gonna open up a “So I was sitting there whackin’ off…” thread, which will really be just another recap into the TMI thread, and I’m sure everyone’s heard all they want to about toothpaste…
5. If you can do something really cool with your vagina, like smoke a cigarette with it, you are obligated to demonstrate it at some point.
Hey soccerhooligan, I tried that once. It actually works! But you have to do the whole alphabet about a dozen times. The idea is that you don’t want to focus too much on any one area until she’s just about ready to come and asks you to. Doing the alphabet keeps you moving around the area.
Let me give you boys a tip–the alphabet thing only works if you already know what you’re doing down there. If you just dive in singing the little song in your head to keep your place, it will not work. We know about this technique and the only thing worse than receiving bad oral sex is being able to recite the alphabet along with your licking and wishing you’d just hurry up and get to Z already!
Why thanks, evilbeth! I always had a sneaking suspicion that I was above average. Now I have clear evidence!
What I was really getting at with the alphabet thing is that it’s an easy way to remember to avoid going straight for the clit and setting up camp. Everything from her asshole to the top of her bush and halfway down each thigh should be involved. And that’s just where you put your mouth. Now, your hands…
Five hundred million? That either feels REALLY good, or hurts like hell. Not having a clit, I wouldnt know.
And dosnt claiming a place for a place involve stabbing a flag into the ground? wince…
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