I might add, avoid screaming “([sub]don’t[/sub]) STOP!” and then howling in frustration when your SO comes up for air and says, “Huh?”
So this couple was getting married. Right before the reception was to begin, they sneak off into a broom closet.
“Hey, honey, why don’t you give me a blowjob right before the ceremony?”
“OK,” the wife-to-be agrees, and gets on her knees. She proceeds to perform an absolutely stellar blow job.
During the ceremony, after the groom has led the bride to the altar, the best man notices that he has a giant, rediculous grin on his face. The best man is puzzled.
“Geez, I know you’re happy to get married, but what’s the rediculous grin about?”
The groom turns towards the best man and says, “Marriage is gonna be great. I just got the best blowjob of my life!”
About the same time, the bride’s maid notices that the bride is grinning from ear to ear.
“I know you’re exciting about the wedding, but why the huge smile?”
“Because,” the bride answers, “I just gave the last blowjob of my life!”
Alph:
“Clover”?
Sue, you crack my ass up.
I, for one, LOVE giving guys head, and am extremely good at it. To keep myself HIV-, I don’t swallow during casual encounters, but I have had rave reviews from guy I’ve been with. Some tips:
Lips over teeth. Teeth and penises should never come in contact unless requested.
Don’t neglect the balls. Guys really like getting those boys taken care of, too.
Get imaginative. Nibble on a man’s thighs before going down to get him excited.
The area under a guy’s testicles is VERY sensitive, and some oral action applied there will make a guy happy.
There are more dimensions than just up and down.
And get your tongue involved during the act. Show some enthusiasm! Using your tongue to stimulate the glans while you’re doing the act gets most guys hot fast.
Goboy-Fellator Extraordinaire
Hey, some unsolicited advice: Guys get little cuts and chafe marks on their dicks once in a while, and it’s not unthinkable that someone may have a big bleeding scratch. Plus, stuff comes out before the “big event”. And even if you don’t swallow, you could have open gum sores ot something that could allow the semen to transmit the virus into your bloodstream. You probably already know all this, but I thought I’d say it just in case.
I’m making you.
Well?
That’s a good thing? Somehow I doubt that your hubby is all that jazzed about it. Sorry, Opal, but you are apparantly the girl that’s giving the rest of us a bad name!
stoid
Oh boy, Sue, you have me laughing my ass off! You too, Alphagene (and now that I’ve met you in person, I can get a mental picture too! Awesome!).
Okay, I have nothing else to contribute to this thread, because I have qualms about TMI. But keep 'em coming, guys!
Oh yeah, the teeth thing goes both ways. Nibbling on my neck is okay, but that’s where I draw the line. Just because your mom breast fed you doesn’t mean I’m gonna spurt milk if you chow down like a madman too.
Well, Fellator Extraordinaire, don’t forget the single most important part: it’s rarely, if ever, an exclusively oral thing. All the best blowjobs are partially handjobs. It’s all about making it feel like you have this amazingly large and deep mouth that can do circus tricks on his dick. And that takes a hand skillfully employed…
stoid
Damn you Sue You do realise that now all us Bay Area Dopers are goign to have to go to your party and interact with your husband, knowing that he refers to you as Duck Lips. Ack! Thanks a fucking lot.
I want a girlfriend!
Sue- I ahve the opposite complaint from Oldscratch- do you realize us guys are going to be at your house, and then we are going to look at your lips- and then have to remain seated for awhile?
Umm, while we are there- wanna play darts? 
After reading this thread I feel pretty good saying I have NIL problems in the bedroom.
Damn, I was going to say exactly what scratchie said! Heehee.
::repeats to herself “Do not quack at Sue. Do not quack at Sue…”::
We’ll since the penis has already been brought up(Actually me question is about the nutsack, but I was in the mood to use a stupid double entendre)
Here’s a quick question. at what length do the women do women want the hair. Now I’m not gonna shave bald, but do y’all want it trimmed off the balls somewhat? I’ve heard differing opinions on the matter.
Dammit, I laughed so hard I woke the baby up!
No, not that baby, the actual infant!
Now I’m off to the cunnilingus thread…
I hear that!
The worst part of being single is I miss giving head!
Come to think about it, I need to keep in practice - I dont want to lose my technique.
Hmmmm.
Gee… Mrs. RickJay LIKES it when I cum in her mouth. She keeps asking me to do it, but I never want to. How’s that for a reversal? It’s just so hard to skip the main event. 
To be honest, I always thought the female-opposition-to-blowjobs thing was a stereotypical joke. All my serious girlfriends loved it.
Hi Kelli! How ya doin? Come( no pun intended) here often? What’s your sign?