So I was the victim of theft today....

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m here in Maryland visiting my parents over winter semester break. I headed out to Annapolis mall this morning to purchase the new Robert Jordan book, which I had been eagerly awaiting for a couple years. My brother came along, amazingly because he usually doesn’t get up till 2 or 3 in the afternoon.

When we came back from the Borders, my brother discovered he had left the passenger door of the truck unlocked (I guess he’s used to power locks, but I had reminded him a few times already to lock the door on previous outings.) So I get in, and lo and behold, shit’s missing.

A) personal CD player with car adapter that barely works and has to be held together with a rubber band
B) hard to find Guided by Voices CD that was in the player
C) case full of 25-30 mix CDs I burned from blanks
D) two packs of Kool menthol cigarettes

OK, so probably some crackfiend stole my shit so he could pawn it and get money for his daily rock fix, or perhaps to buy some copper Chore Boys or other pipe accessories. I guess I have come to expect nothing better from urban youth these days. But what the everloving fuck was he thinking taking that shit?? He can’t pawn the player, it barely works any longer. He can’t pawn the GbV disc, he didn’t take the case and cover and traders won’t take a used disc without them. He can’t pawn the discs in the case, they were just blanks with my personal music mixes on them. The only thing of any use to him at all is the menthol cigarettes. This shit is basically WORTHLESS TO HIM, but had plenty of value TO ME.

So now I have a 16-hour drive next week back to Missouri with no CD player, and even if I managed to get my brother (or my parents coz my brother doesn’t have any money) to replace it I’ve lost all my music, which it took me hours to burn from my hard drive at home. And a $20 CD carrying case, which is no chump change for a college student. I’m sure you guys know the feeling, when something isn’t catastophic, but it’s still really fucking annoying!!! And I’ve gotta get my anger off my chest at this fucknut…

So here’s my warning to this assmonkey who thinks he can just take my shit. Shitwipe, if I ever find your dirty stealing ass, I’m gonna cut your fucking balls off just like Batista sliced up Raul Castro. You’re going to spend the rest of your lousy crack-addled life as a fucking eunuch. Your skank-ass bitch of a girlfriend is going to look at your severed scrotum and laugh at your sorry, impotent, withered dick. The cops will find your stash and send you off to prison, where you can spend the next 3 years sucking real men’s cocks while they laugh at the fucking shriveled-dick spectacle that you are. Fuck you, fuck the sticky little sperm that made you, fuck you in the ass with a sottering iron.

And I hope you get fucking cancer from my cigarettes.

There, I feel better now. Thanks, Pit.

2

I could read that rant everyday and apply it to somebody different in my social circle. Vancouver’s drug addicts train anyone who owns a car to never, never leave anything inside.

Which is why I don’t own a car.

3

Well speaking for the crackheads, anything has value. Keep in mind 2 or 3 bucks for a CD player may not be much to me, but its a nice windfall for a crackhead. I share your anger though, I’ve had similar things happen, and I just want to strangle them all as well.

4

It’s really fucked up when someone steals stuff that you know it’s only of value to you. The crazy thing is the thief is probably cursing you out because his/her music taste isn’t the same as yours. I feel you pain man, good thing they didn’t break the truck window too.

5

LOL, probably right EasyPhil, maybe I can take some satisfaction from the frustration he must be feeling when he found out he hadn’t scored too well from his heist.

6

Check your email, Rex. I can help. :slight_smile:

7

Sucks, man. They got me last week and I started a similar thread. I lost a pair of gloves and my truck window, was all, but still, it SUCKS.

And I really, really want to know what stockton just e-mailed you.

8

Wow, they’re all over…

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=154997

9

Wow, they’re all over…

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=154997

Break out the torches and pitchfolks, we needs to get us a mob!

10

Damn! Again! this happened to you back when you had the station wagon, only they jimmied in, and stole another almost dead CD player, with some CD, and somehow missed the 200+ real CDs in the back seat. at least this time your window isn’t broken. Too bad this didn’t happen pre-x-mas, otherwise i could just get you a new player again!

11

Another thing to keep in mind: As sick as it sounds, there are people out there who steal just for the sake of stealing. To these people, it doesn’t matter if the item has no monetary value, and it doesn’t matter if it’s no value to them; it’s something to steal, and that’s all that matters.

I delivered pizzas while attending the University of Cincinnati. I once left the insulated pizza bag at a customer’s house. I knew which house it was (which, BTW, was in a drug-infested neighborhood), so I called them up to let them know I’ll be over to pick it up. The guy on the phone said, “Sorry, don’t know what you’re talking about,” and hung up. Why would he keep it? After all, it was an old bag, and thus had little if any monetary value. And I couldn’t imagine anyone using it for anything besides delivering pizzas! Then it occurred to me… it was something to steal. And that’s all that mattered. It was something to steal.

12

Someone stole my CD player, with adapter, from my car a few months ago. A few weeks later, I found the adaptor that makes the power work, without which the adapter is nigh useless. Made my day. Enjoy crappy two year old player and nonfunctional adapter, thief!

13

When I was working in a mall, at the arcade, I had the face plate for my CD stolen. I had accidently left it on one of the games, came back two minutes later and it was gone. I had to buy a new face plate which cost quite a bit.

14

I once had someone break into my house and steal all of my dishes and silverware (wedding presents :frowning: ) most of my pots and pans, and my WASHING MACHINE AND DRYER.

How the fuck they did that I will never know.