And we took a ride on the train. Now Brother’d never been on a train before. And there was a man there sellin’ nanners. I bought one for Brother, but he’d never et a nanner, and he asked me how to eat it. The man acrost the aisle had one, and I told Brother to just do what he was doing. Right about then, the train went into a tunnel. When it came out, the other man had finished his nanner, but Brother still had his. I said, “Ain’t you gonna eat the rest of it?”
“I don’t think so, I took one bite, and I went stone blind!”
Minnie Pearl claimed that was the first joke she ever told on stage.
Two men sitting in a doctor’s office, both so nervous that they are sweating bullets. One turns to the other and asks, “What are you in for?” The other man replies, “I woke up this morning and found this red ring around my penis.” The first man is astonished, “I’m exactly the same, only I have a green ring!”
The two men get to talking until the doctor calls in the second man. A few minutes pass and with a bit of laughter the man and the doctor walk out, the man giving his new friend the thumbs up. The first man is feeling a little more confident now, and follows the doctor back into his office. His drops his pants and shows him his ailment and the doctor says, “Oh dear, I’m afraid we’ll have to cut it off.”
“WHAT,” says the man, “But your last patient had the same as me and he came out laughing”
“The last man had lipstick on his penis,” said the doctor, “You have gangrene.”
So I was sailing into New York Harbor, coming to this country with my brother Pat, and we were discussing what we were most interested in seeing as our first sight of America. Pat said, “Aren’t you just itching for your first glimpse of the Statue of Liberty, Mike?” “I’m sure that’ll be a fine sight, Pat” I said, “but what I really want to see is the Ex-Lax billboard. I understand that it says ’Makes You Feel Young Again.’”
We came into the harbor, and he saw his statue, and I saw my sign, and we got ourselves processed at Ellis Island. Once we were turned loose on America, I found a drugstore and bought myself a packet of Ex-Lax (chocolate-flavored – yummy!), then Pat and I took ourselves off to see some more of the sights.
While we rode the Staten Island Ferry, Pat turned to me and said, “So Mike, you’ve seen the sign, and you’ve sampled the goods. Tell me, do you feel any younger yet?”
“Not exactly,” I replied. “But I’ve just done something very childish.”