So if you recast BREAKING BAD with the Muppets, I think we can all agree that Kermit would be Walt White (arguably, the role he was born to play), which would make Miss Piggy needs be Skyler, but who would be Jesse? (My cousin suggests that Kermit should be Gus, and I can see some argument, but ultimately Kermie’s too much star power for a supporting role, even an important one.)
Fozzy comes to mind instantly, but Scooter has claims as well, and Fozzy would be a good Hank.
And Gus Fring? Sam Eagle maybe, but he’d be a better Mike. Gonzo’s face might look better exploding, but he doesn’t have Fring’s icy finesse.
In any case, I think we can all agree that Animal would be Tuco.
Statler of course is a shoe-in to play Tio Hector, but he and Waldorf are such a team that it’s a shame to break them up.
Perhaps Waldorf could be an old guy that Gus pays to go and taunt Statler/Hector when he can’t make it to the nursing home.
“Hey! I don’t recognize your whole hand, Hector, but your right hand sure rings a bell. Ha ha ha ha ha! What? Yeah, you can sure ding that again.”
Dramatic highlight moments would be when Walt lets Jane (Janice) die, or when Jesse (whovever plays him) shoots Professor Bunsen Honeydew, or the end of the episode “I.F. Beaker”.
I believe it was Dogen who once said “To make an omelette, an egg must break, and to recast Breaking Bad with Muppets, one must know the plots of Breaking Bad”. Certainly he saw an egg at some point at any rate.
Beaker as Gus. Scooter as Jesse. Swedish Chef as Gale. Rowlf as Saul. Gonzo as Hector. The chickens as Hector’s nephews. Fozzy would be a good Hank. Sweetumsas Mike. Rizzo as Skinny Pete.
RJ Mitte would reprise the role of Walt Jr., for only he can eat bacon like that. (Though if Miss Piggy is his mother, they may not serve bacon, making you wonder how she’ll do the age on the pancakes… maybe with caviar.)
Bunsen Honeydew was manufactured to play Walt - and I don’t just say that because I want to see Beaker in a hoodie saying “Meep meep-meep meep meeeeeep meep, bitch” while throwing shapes with his hands. Although I do. I really, do.
Kermit’s far better suited to Gus. I really want to see the episode where he executes Scooter as Victor in front of a stunned Walt and Jesse. Tuco needs to be both Statler and Waldorf, side by side in wheelchairs:
S: Ding!
W: Ding Ding!
S: Ding Ding Ding Ding!
Both: Ohohohohohohohohoho.
Link Hogthrob and Piggy are the world’s most willfully blind DEA agent and his self-righteous kleptomaniac wife in purple. And I want to see Link calling Julius Strangepork “Gomey”. That leaves Annie-Mae pig to play Skyler and, obviously, Carl the Big Mean Bunny (in rabbit ears costume) playing Walter Jr.
Saul is Gonzo in a white suit, flanked by Bobo as Huell (I know, it’s typecasting, but he’s proved he’s got the range). I’m torn as to whether Fozzie or the Swedish Chef should play Mike.
Badger and Skinny Pete have to be Seymour and Pepe. You can’t break that up.
Krazy-8 would be played by an anonymous rat, with Emilio just one of dozens of cousins.
Jane would have to be Janice, which would make Floyd Pepper the underslept flight traffic director bringing down the 737.
The two Salamanca assassin cousins are played by anonymous chickens - never speaking, but with a lot of meaningful eye contact.
I’m struggling to think who might play Gale - Sweetums, maybe?
I think Beaker is perfect for Gale–well-intentioned, doomed from the start, and he has his own lab coat!
Definitely disagree about Rowlf as Saul–Rowlf is world-weary, full of sage wisdom. Saul is mercenary, opportunistic, and has a lot of irons in the fire. Rowlf makes more sense as Mike, and Saul…maybe Gonzo? Or Ratso.
Yeah, you’re sorta right about Rowlf. And the more I think about it, I don’t think any other Muppet could pull off the line “Shut the fuck up and let me die in peace” like Rowlf could. And for that reason, I’m changing my vote to Rowlf for Mike.
But I still think he could’ve pulled off a great Saul too. He could play sleazy.
