I’ve only know a couple of women closely enough to talk to them about what menopause is like. One of them feared she was losing her mind; the other (a very nice, placid, intelligent woman) considered suicide.
Is it really that tough?
I bring this up because there’s a woman in the class I’m currently teaching that goes through mood swings faster than anyone I’ve ever seen. She’s about 45 - 50 years old, and she’s a fruit loop. Happy, calm, animated, withdrawn, argumentative, crying…sometimes all before lunch.
I wonder if it’s “the change,” or if she’s just a nut?
This person will never cut it in a customer service position, and I’ve told her supervisor as much, but the supervisor wants me to have the wacko finish out the course. There’s only about a week left, so I’m letting her stay.
But the next time she starts sobbing because she loses her cursor, she’s outta there. She’s making the other students very uncomfortable, and they will be able to function if they’re able to learn.
Maybe this should be in GQ? I dunno. I’m not looking for alot of facts, just personal experiences. What say you?
When my mom went through menopause, it lasted about a year all total. She was calm and relaxed one minute and flipping out, crying, running away from home, tantruming the next. We all took cover many times because we werent sure what would come next.
One day it was over and she was back to her old self. for her sake I hope the lady in your class is almost through it. Touch wood I am no where near this stage yet, but when it happens I hope its quick and painless unlike PMS.
Rydsdad, staring down the barrel of the gun myself, I can tell you mainly that you can tell how a woman will handle menopause by how she handles PMS. If once a month she goes berserk and walks around growling at people, menopause will not be easy for her. If she pretty much glides through the monthly Kotex drill, she’s not likely to be considering suicide when she goes through “the change”. The hormonal shifts are pretty much the same, only magnified, with higher highs and lower lows.
Also, a lot depends on how much of her feminine self-image is tied up in her ability to bear children. It’s different with everybody.
And a lot depends on how supportive her family is, and how neurotic she is (sadly, a lot of women use “female troubles” as a bid for attention, although not as much as they used to).
The important thing to remember is, it’s not just “all in her head.” It’s a real physical change, and it’s not very much fun.
Also, you know that just because this woman is having mood swings doesn’t mean she’s going through menopause, or that they’re caused by it. Maybe she’s just bipolar depressive and they’re tinkering with her medication. Maybe she was bitten by an Apple when she was a little girl and she’s been afraid of cursors ever since.
Basically, what ** Duck ** said, except, I’m more than just staring down the barrel, I’m rolling in it. But, I had no more than just headaches PMS wise, so the only thing I’m experiencing now, is HEAT. It doesn’t matter how cold it is, I’m always hot, and in short sleeves, provoking some odd comments from people in the middle of winter. Where’s a good ‘Polar Bear Club’ for women in Georgia when you need one???
It sounds like this woman is hard on herself, and is given to ‘mini tantrums’ when she feels like she’s failing, which is hard on everyone else. Good luck!
Hey, let’s not put down 18 year olds, or gays, for advice to the old and extremely HOT! I actually DO have a battery operated fan, problem is, the weather tends to wear the batteries out pretty quickly!
What I REALLY need is for an old Southern Belleish look, one of those wide fans that you see people sport in churches of long ago, with the pictures painted on them.
Ah’d like a cool one of the Niagara Falls pleeeasseee.
Mrs. Cal is reading this over my shoulder. I’ve just called her over from a perfectly good Jay Leno monologue to confirm or deny.
I now turn the microphone over to her:
The beginning of menopause is just no fun for me or Cal.
But menopause with a 3 year old, who is very stubborn,wow!
Then again, if I had started in my fifties, like every other female in my family, it would be menopause and puberty at the same time! I think I would like that even less!
I’m 36, with two toddlers (a two year old and a one year old) and I’m just starting menopause. I never had PMS, so I can’t say what that’s like. Menopause, however, is a bear. I had to buy a small fan for my cubicle at work so I could stay cool during those hot flashes, even though the room temp is so cold you could hang meat. I’m taking some herbal medication which is helping a little. The nicest thing is I can be bitchy at work and get away with it.
My poor husband, however… he has to be a saint. He’s put up with me during two pregnancies, and now this. God bless him.
Hey, Juliana, I thought I was the only one who went through this so young!
Actually, it depends entirely on the woman. When it started for me I had no idea what was happening. The main symptoms were exhaustion and heat. Exhaustion: so tired it was an effort of will to get through a day. Heat: brutal, and I mean brutal. Fine one minute and then next, broiling. True fact; in arctic midwestern winters, when others were shivering in their down coats I’d be in shirt sleeves and still sweltering.
Being sharp as a marble, it wasn’t until I almost fainted in a restaurant that it occured to me, “hmmm, wonder if I should see a doctor?” Sure enough, a blood test confirmed the hormone levels were totally beserk. After balancing the risk factors, I went on horomone replacement and it was the difference between night and day. In less than a week I was back to normal; no heat, energy back, no problem.
So medically speaking–damned if I know. But in your situation as employer (fun, ain’t it?) the possible medical reasons are hers to address, not yours. I’m a bona fide female, not to mention an unapologetic feminist. But if she can’t do the job, show her the door. Menopause, neurosis, whatever; it’s unfair to other trainees, applicants, the company, the public–and you–to try to second-guess inept performance based on unknowable factors.
Now, now, ladies, you’re scaring Doctor Jackson. Remember, Doc, as even a few minutes with Snopes will tell you, it’s the horror stories that get repeated the loudest and most often. (“I was in labor for 36 hours!”) Most women have hot flashes, etc., and may be very uncomfortable for a while, but they don’t usually consider suicide. Vebbie and Anti, you’re not considering Ending It All, are ya?
I appreciate everyone’s replies. It’s interesting that a couple of people mentioned fans. The woman I spoke of brought one in last week. She’s only knocked it over twice and blown the papers off my desk once.
I just need to repeat to myself: “Only a week left. Only a week left.”
