I know it’s a bit last minute, and I don’t speak Latin, and I’m not a Cardinal, and I’m married, and I’m not Catholic, and not one voting Cardinal even knows my name, and there’s just no way I could sell my house and move to the Vatican in this housing market, and I’m pretty sure the pay wouldn’t be enough to support my family, but I’m fairly confident I could do a real bitchin’ job as Bishop of Rome and Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Vicar of Jesus Christ.
Does anyone know how I go about getting my name on the ballot? Anyone want to run my campaign? I’m accepting donations via Paypal.
Lendervedder for Successor of the Prince of the Apostles '13!
well, since you have to be a member of the College of Cardinals to eve n be considered, and they don’t allow campaigning, and they’re already locked in and can’t evebn learn your name, even if they wanted to write you in, I’d say you’re screwed.
Better luck next election. You might want to position yourself better for it.
I think you’d be better off heading your own schism, like Father Guido Sarducci did.
Well, you could just declare yourself Pope. And then when the “real” Pope gets elected, you become an Anti-Pope! Which has a certain ring to it, don’t you agree?
Technically, perhaps, but the last time they elected a non-Cardinal was Urban VI in 1379. That’s longer ago than the last papal resignation.
And he was an archbishop. A layman’s got no chance in this election. It’s all rigged.
Well before Barack Obama, the U.S. had never before elected a black man to the presidency. It just takes the right candidate, and I believe I am the right candidate at the right time.
So either you’re with me on this, or you are my mortal enemy and will be destroyed once I am elected to the Holy Lord Seat Pontificate of the Apostolic Hat.
Brilliant. I’ve got an opening for chief campaign strategist. You interested? The pay stinks, but once I’m sworn in as Papa di Roma Sanctus, I’ll have all kinds of power to make up job titles.
