Well, it’s a start, but maybe something a *little *stronger in the area of me not having molested any children, nor any desire to. I think we want people to really, really know where I stand on that.
Something like “Vote Lendervedder! He HATES molesting children.”
Wait, that doesn’t sound quite right. We can tinker…
Well actually, about that…I have this smoking hot wife that I like to bang on a pretty regular basis, so I was hoping we could work *that *to our advantage in a slogan somehow.
I’m thinking a “stolen and leaked to the media” sex tape. It’s made plenty of people famous.
and he’s probably male! (Has anyone checked all the cardinals?)
Frankly Happy, I’d much rather see you busy as the Pope than hanging out here. You have my unqualified support for the position. I will contact all the cardinals who owe me favors and instruct them to vote for you. Best of luck.
Bless you my child. On your death bed you will receive total unconsciousness.
I’m working on it vigorously as we speak.
That’s a really good point and will be made absolutely clear once this campaign sex video is released.
Slogans:
“Not gonna quit this time!”
“The Pope from The Dope!”
“Pope Happy!”
Really, it just sells itself.
OOOH! I like “The Pope From The Dope!” It infers Happy is endorsed by The Perfect Master Himself. That’s the kind of endorsement this campaign needs.
Also, instead of a cocktail party might I suggest a kegger? I’ll supply the red Solo[sup]TM[/sup] cups.
Awesome idea. How about we throw bingo into the mix. I have to really show I can act Catholic.
“Pope from the Dope.” Spectacular. From the lips of angels.
Keep it short and simple.
“Pope Lendervedder: Probably male!”
Sorry…gotta be baptized Catholic. But you can come up with something around that, right?
Best bet is to break into the Vatican, knock out the bus driver that shuttles them between their sleeping quarters and the Sistine Chapel, dress as him, then, when they’re all loaded…stop the bus and plead your case. About your only shot left.
Happy, I just asked my husband (who IS Catholic - I am not) what he thought. He said he’d definitely support this effort, once he knows what your Pope name will be. He doesn’t want it to be something long with lots of numbers and stuff - he said something like Pope Bob the I would be good. Not too confusing, sounds approachable and stuff.
What are you thinkin’ of for a name?
You are a cinch to win! You’ll know because instead of black or white smoke there will be blue flame. Just wait, and watch!
The job has now been listed onLinkedin. Please submit your resume today.
Well, I am baptized, but Protestant. I was thinking “Pope Calvin.” Or, to honor a philosopher that I spend a lot of time reading, “Pope Internet.” Or maybe give the conspiracy theorists a thrill and go with “Pope Peter II.”
Any of those works for him, he says. Now he wants to know how can we get a bumper sticker to support your campaign?
It doesn’t say whom I should address in the cover letter. I hate using generic terms like “Papal headhunter.”
Cafe Press! I don’t have anything official designed, but I hear they got a really great do-it-yourself thing going there.