What Would Jesus Drive?
Apparently, a lot of people think it’s a Saturn.
Wonder Woman Jumps Doofuses.
From this week’s News of the Weird, as reported in the St. Paul Pioneer Press, 6-26-02:
Jesus would BEAT YOU. With a CHAIR.
Man, if you’re gonna pick on somebody don’t choose God… that’s the equivalent of kicking a sleeping T-Rex in the nose.
Naw, it’s more like kicking the air with your steel-toe. 
I was planning on running for Junior class president as a gag when I was a sophomore at my Private Catholic high school. I ended up not running because I ended up dropping out for a little while that year.
Regardless, I had a whole slew of slogans and posters thought up that were all pretty darn funny. Stuff like:
“Stalin, Hitler, Stephen…next in the line of great leaders.”
“Stephen…Some students are more equal than others.”
“Stephen wants YOU to vote for him…among other things.”
But my favorite was:
“WWJD? Vote for Stephen!”
I knew the administration wouldn’t approve, so I actually made two posters: one with “WWJD?” and the other with “Vote for Stephen!”. They were placed conspicuously close together, but the administration couldn’t really say that they were related.
I just realized that that was a pretty big hijack, sorry.
Speaking as a former teenage boy, I don’t think that would do any good. Later that night, the guy was probably reading this:
What would
Jesus do?
What would
Jesus do?
What would
Jesus do?
What would
Jesus do?
What would
Jesus do?
What would
Jesus do?
What would Jesus do?
What would Jesus do?
whatwouldJesusdo?whatwouldJesusdo?whatwouldJes....
OH GOD!
ROTFLMFAO!
Ahh, the Wide World of Juvenile Delinquency!
Upon seeing the WWJD stickers, my mother tends to point out that Jesus would probably be against prayer in schools, and would support the separation of Church and State.
I just muse that Jesus probably wouldn’t want people making money off making cutrate schlock with his name on it.
(But what would Brian Boitano do?)
What Would a Jedi Do is my personal motto.