So far, I’ve won with:
Who the fuck is Jesus (pronounced the Spanish way) and why would I care what he would do?
Probably get himself crucified…again.
Tell you to stop putting his name on your POS car (this after spotting the bumper sticker on the nastiest Ford Escort I’ve ever seen).
Honey, what’s the World Wide Jousting Division?
Does that stand for Wide Women’s Jury Duty?
When we were with our friend John: So, John, just what would you do?
OK, your turn. WWJD?
Wait–those t-shirts have something to do with Jesus? I heard they stood for Who Wants Jack Daniels?
Walk him and pitch to the rhino.
auntie em, hubby won with that one once. It was especially funny because the car on which the bumper sticker was afixed was parked in front of a liquor store.
Get followed around by store security a lot for having dark skin, unkempt hair and beard, and wearing sandals.
WWJD?
JWRTFM!
I dunno, Terminus. I could imagine Jesus calling tech support…
Tech Support Schmoe: Hello, tech support.
Jesus, Son of God: Uh, yeah, I’m having trouble hot synching my Palm.
TSS: Is the device firmly in the cradle?
JSoG: Yes.
TSS: Is Hot Sync Manager running?
JSoG: Uh, how can I tell?
TSS: Well, sir, there’s a little icon that resides in the system tray. The system tray is usually located in the lower right-hand corner where the time is displayed and the icon is a circle formed by a red arrow and a blue arrow. Do you see that?
JSoG: Yes, I see it.
TSS: Hmmmmm. You did remember to press the Hot Sync button on the cradle of your device, right?
JSof: <smacking himself on the head, poking his hand on his crown of thorns> I’m supposed to press that button each time I want to sync this thing? The person who designed this thing is so going to hell. I’m buying an iPaq!
And then you have the group of fabulously wealthy, but very remorseful and “Oops! I can’t believe we let them cut those off!” eunuchs, who pay for their local artisans to create diamond, opal and ruby-encrusted prosthetic phalluses so the eunuchs can be popular with da’ ladies (and they are). Their group slogan?
Ahem…
Winning With Jeweled Dicks. 
Jesus would definitely do something to make the baby Jesus cry.
::in response to seeing one of these cars in front of me on the way to my friend’s house. it was moving at a snail’s pace::
He’d probably go at least the speed limit on I-90.
Who Wants Jury Duty
Six feet two
Eyes of blue
He’d walk across your
Swimming pool–
That’s what Jesus would do!
What would Jesus do…hmm… What. Would. Jesus. Do?
I dunno, maybe, finally, after two thousand years, drop the other shoe?
LOL. Auntie Em I love it - may I have your permission to use it?
WWJD? That stands for “What Would Judas Do?”, right?
When Will Jizz Dry?
Who Would Jesus Do?
I’m gonna burn for that, I know it.
Get a better PR agent.
Use the Jedi mind trick and make the Romans think that Thomas was the ringleader.
Bring sunscreen to the crucifixion.
Carry around a copy of his birth certificate.
Read the Straight Dope.
What Would Jebus Do?
But really, WWKD?
What Would Kai Do?
“Who would you like me to kill?”
Sigh… it’s so much simpler. 