I am so sorry to hear about your mother. The only comfort to death after a terminal illness is that your loved one is no longer suffering.
Your mother must be an extraordinary woman to have raised such a mature, capable crew of young people. I regret that I will never have the privilege of knowing her. Your mother has given you and your siblings the greatest gift a parent can give - a good start in life.
I know how you feel because my Mum passed last year. She spent her last week in a hospice, and was as comfortable as possible.
My thoughts are with you.
I hope you won’t mind if I add some practical advice, but it’s sad how there is a lot to do at such a difficult time.
My Mum told us what she wanted for her funeral (music choices, speakers etc), which was very helpful. Not everyone will want to do this, but if they can, it really helps.
Check with the family lawyer about what needed to be done. (Typically you need to register the death, process the will, close bank accounts and of course notify friends and relatives.)
Finally do consider grief counselling. My sister and I are still getting help and it really helped us understand and cope with our feelings.
I’m so sorry for all that you’re going through but everyone is absolutely right that your mom has everything to be proud of re you and your siblings. My condolences.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Just a thought - are you close to a particular professor, administrator, etc? (I went to a very small women’s college, so my experience may be different from yours - I bet the president of the college and the dean would have done this for me.) If your mother’s up to it, perhaps you could ask a person like that to come by the hospital/hospice/house and “give” you your diploma, say a few words? If my mom couldn’t have come to my graduation, a gesture like that would have meant the world to her. Of course, she might not be up to it, it’s just an idea I had.
Soapbox Monkey - I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I hope it’s a consolation that she’ll no longer be suffering. I know that by the time my father died of lung cancer, we were glad for his sake that the end had come.
I second what glee said. On a practical note, it’s much easier on you to have everything arranged beforehand. After a death, things seem to move very quickly, with family coming in and so much to plan. If you can have it done beforehand, you can spend time together with your sibs, not meeting with funeral directors and the like.
Soapbox Monkey, I’m so terribly sorry, you and your siblings are way too young to be walking this path. You will be in my thoughts.
I am more than twice your age, also with two younger siblings. We lost our mother in February after a thankfully short illness, and I can tell you from my sad experience that your mother knows how much you all love her and she is rightfully very proud of you. Remember that she will live on in each of you kids, and that you can honor her memory by staying strong for each other.
My mother asked “how did this happen” too. No one could answer.
Soapbox Monkey, your post brought tears to my eyes. I am keeping you, your brother and sister and family in my thoughts and prayers. Tomorrow is the 5th anniversary of my Mom’s death, from ovarian cancer; she was diagnosed in mid-January of that year. So I’ve been there too. {{{{{{{{{Soapbox Monkey}}}}}}}}}
Soapbox, I am so sorry for your loss. I know your Mother is very proud of you and your siblings. For what it’s worth, I’m very proud of you too. She must have been a remarkable woman to have raised you three so well. Soon she will be beyond pain. And your sorrow will ease with time. Stay strong for your little sister, and she will help you through the next year too. Your whole family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
