My niece G (who’s 4) wasn’t ready by the time my sister-in-law F had to leave to take my nephew H to school. So she was left behind with me. When she finally came down, ready to go, I explained to her that F & H had already left. Whereupon she threw a tantrum. The full screaming, crying, foot-stomping variety. I stood there and calmly explained why she had been left behind, and stood impassively as she repeated the routine. She then realised it was having no effect and stopped, just like that.
Awesome. And well handled by both of you. She (and her mom) are lucky to have an auntie who’s willing and able to help her learn the consequences of her own choices.
And yes, remaining calm and not giving in is the only way to stop tantrums from recurring, despite the urge to put the child up for sale on eBay when this sort of thing happens. Well done.
I would never EVER put a child up for sale on eBay, no matter how bad the tantrum is that they’re throwing.
The shipping costs would be prohibitive, I’ll never make the sale!
I’d much prefer to hand the kid over to a trusted person with instructions to apprentice them to a Somali gang. Then either they’ll learn how to properly throw a tantrum, or otherwise accidentally become commercial flight crew.
I remember my first son getting the shits about something and deciding to bang his head on the floor. My wife and I were sitting at the table talking. She went to get up to placate him but somehow I knew the right thing was to ignore him. So we did.
He quickly stopped. He tried it one other time with the same result and never did it again.
Unfortunately Nigel Latta hadn’t yet published Politically Incorrect Parenting or things may have worked out better in the long run.
In my house, they do. Of course they get lots of help, but if they’re messing around, not listening, playing with their toys instead of putting on their socks…and there’s a kindhearted Aunt staying behind who can stay with her, yeah, we’re leaving when it’s time to leave with whomever is ready to leave.
(Besides, it sounds like her brother was the one going to school, and she was intending to ride along, not that she skipped school herself.)
Bet she’ll be ready on time tomorrow. By Friday if she’s really stubborn and testing her mother’s resolve.
And clearly, Craigslist is much more practical than eBay for selling your unruly children. Local pickup only, please.
Dude, eBay is where you make the big bucks on selling things! That way eBay doesn’t get their meathooks into your profits. Sure it’s expensive, but think of the money you’ll make! All it takes is one [del]sucker[/del] buyer.
The trick is not to put the whole child up for sale at once – that could get you accused of slavery.
Nope, sell piece by piece. And be smart about it – don’t sell the heart first, or you’ll spoil the rest. I think a young healthy kidney would be worth a lot. And does a kid really need TWO lungs?
Absolutely, or at least in my house. Usually, it takes some gentle pressure (“Okay, time to get ready! We picked out your clothes last night - let’s see how fast you can get them on.”) and some help with things like buttoning and anything else that’s challenging, but they should be held accountable at least for listening when their parents tell them it’s time to get ready. If the parents have explained to them patiently what happens if they’re not ready and have offered to help, the onus is on the kid to listen and get ready. Sometimes the kid will need to be re-focused (“I see you’re ready - when you’ve got all your clothes on, you can read.”), but it shouldn’t take them a long time to get ready in the morning.
And I think that the consequences in the OP (having to stay behind because she wasn’t ready) were absolutely appropriate. It’s definitely relevant to the problem.
Ya done good, OP. It’s important to realize that they’re not always trying to manipulate you. They’re expressing emotion and frustration. The behavior itself doesn’t come from some get-my-way motive, but any effect this has on adults is classically conditioned into the kids. "Throw a tanrum = " is still an open equation until you fill in the blank for them.
Please see here. Probation: 6 months. Bailiff, take her away.
My grandmother was making donuts once, and my aunt didn’t want to wait until they were cool to. So she told my grandmother that if she couldn’t have one, she was going to run at the wall and knock herself out. Gramma said go ahead.
Which my aunt did. When she came to, she still didn’t get a donut – just a lump on her head.
My niece is still having temper tantrums at 16. Guess which parenting method my sister and brother-in-law used (hint: it involves teaching children that getting mad equals getting your own way).
