I read the beginning of this thread and then forgot to keep up with it until today. Holy shit, Zsofia! I’m so sorry to hear about your sister-in-law. Has the autopsy report come back yet?
You are doing a wonderful job with the kids, by the way.
Zsofia, not to pry, but are there any updates you can share with us?
Mrrrrrrgh. They were back with him over the summer but the agreement (informal, but done with a lawyer) was that they would be back with my parents for the school year (started two weeks ago). Now suddenly he’s lawyered up and abrogating all agreements, so they went back to him Friday after a whole two weeks with my parents. So this is a timely update.
The thing is, everybody tells us we’d never, ever win in court. Not in this state. So there’s really nothing we can do except say “Okay, you want 'em? Take 'em. We’re not helping.” It’ll be tough for my dad, but the only way to go about this is to not give him a cent and if the kids don’t get to school, they don’t get to school. Hopefully he’ll find out he doesn’t want to be bothered with this parenting shit, or DSS will get called because they’ll not show up to school. We just don’t know what else to do at this point, because there’s literally no way to force him.
Oh, and rumor has it he has a new girlfriend in another city and he’s planning on moving there with the kids. I just don’t know what to do and it’s so emotionally exhausting for everybody, especially my poor mom. A loving God would hit him with a damned bus already.
Oh, I don’t know if I ever posted it, but the autopsy came back with nothing - there’s no evidence, she died of an overdose of competing medications which of course could have happened a number of ways.
I’m very sorry to hear that. But all your good work has not been for naught: the children will remember.
Thing is, say he does realize it’s putting a crimp in his lifestyle and lets us take them back. Six months later we’ll be doing it all again.
You know what though? Doing it all again will be worth it. I got the sense that you really enjoyed bonding with them and that your parents did as well. I hope he changes his mind sooner than later; the kids seemed to benefit immensely and you seemed to enjoy it too.
Here’s to hoping he gets hit by a bus.
Zsofia - I had to wonder if the kids are getting Social Security upon the death of their mother. That could be an incentive for Dad to welcome them back.
How do they feel about going back?
StG
They are. My dad demanded some of that money earlier this summer - that’s one of the agreements my brother is abrogating. (I didn’t want Dad to do that - let him have the stupid money. He’d been blowing it for months, who cares? Let him rot in it.)
No telling how they feel about it. They’re in a pretty tough place where loyalty is concerned, and it seems wrong for me to poke at it.
It’s just so emotionally exhausting. I’ve been having trouble sleeping because I can’t relax my face again, just like this past February.
I’m so sorry to hear this and I hope things will turn around soon. Please keep us updated and please don’t take this so much to heart that it affects your health. I feel so bad for those kids and they need you to be in their lives even if it has to be by phone, text or e-mail right now. Take care of yourself.