That’s really awful. I would’ve been scared out of my mind. It was so brave of you to keep your cool like that.
What a magnificent display of assholery.
This is what I would have done.
Drunken Fool: “Fat nigger bitch!”
Me: “Yo mama.”
or better yet:
DF: “Fat nigger bitch!”
Me (extending hand): You with the face… please to meetcha."
I’m seriously at a loss for words. I really am.
And I am so sorry that you had to go through that, but you kept your cool and came out so far above him, he’d need binoculars to see you.
I hate that word with a passion. I remember being eight years old and visiting family - some more distant relatives. And I was out in the front yard playing with some cousins when one of my younger cousins pointed out the black lab running around with us.
“My daddy calls this dog Nigger 'cause he said he’s stupid and doesn’t listen well.”
At eight years old, my jaw hit the ground. I knew that that word wasn’t just bad, it was unacceptable at any time to say it or even think it. My mom had explained that it wasn’t just an insult, but it was a bad word in our house and she never wanted to hear it from either myself or my brother. And then I heard this cousin saying it - well, I went straight to my mom and asked her why they would call their dog that. I got a big lesson on racism that day - and even though I was still young, I was pretty stunned by the callousness and blatant racism of my cousin. That day and that conversation with my younger cousin’s never left my mind.
The only other time I’ve heard a family member use it was when my seven year old cousin said it while she was in my car one day about six years ago. And she said it so carelessly that I was shocked. When I asked her where she’d heard it, she said she heard Eddie Murphy say it in “The Nutty Professor”. So of course, that led to a discussion on why she should never say that word and why it was okay for him to say it but not her (not that I necessarily agree with using the word at all, but I understand the rationalization from some of the black community, just like I understand the rationalization of ‘fag’ from some of the gay community.). But now she understands what’s behind the word and what it really means.
That word is fucking powerful. And you handled it with flying colors, vivian.
Ava
That really stinks. I can’t think of another word that is more bitter on my tongue. I’m really sorry that you had to endure that. I think you handled it well. His intention was to wound. Don’t let him win.
I created a response a few hours ago, and promptly abandoned this thread because I couldn’t come up with the right words.
I’ve grown up in Texas, and I heard that word often from older relatives (a long time ago).
You’re the better person…
and I still can’t find the right words. Sorry!
That’s terrible that he would do that, but I just want you to know some white people have to go through stuff like that too. When I was younger I was in a predominantly black school. I was harassed, beaten, and treated like crap simply becuase I was a white kid. I tried so hard to get along, but I was never given a chance to. I even asked one of the main ones what she had against me, and her response was that she couldn’t stand white fat honkies. But yeah, I know what you mean. Its not fun to be treated like crap simply because someone thinks you are the wrong color. You sound like a good person to me, and I’m sorry you had to experience that.
What a shitty thing to say. You’re not fat, you’re big boned!
Goddamned drunken idiots screaming racial epithets in 2003, what the fuck is wrong with people?
vivian, I hope hope that I live long enough that the “N” word losses its special significance. Not likely I know and for very good reasons. But especially if this was the first time that you had that hurled at you I can understand (I hope) how it must have felt.
But just think about it this way. He call called you fat. He called you a bitch. He may as well as called you a fat, cunt, bitch. The bottom line is that the guy is one of many fucking idiots. As long as you know that he is a jerk and you are minding your own business, just keep your head up high and be proud of yourself. The words don’t really matter (IMHO), the guy was drunk and an asshole. And I don’t give anyone a break for being drunk, if you can’t be civil plastered, then don’t get plastered.
It sounds like any group of folks would snicker at his behaviour in the middle of the street. Bottom line – it’s his problem and not worth worrying about.
Otto
See, that’s the thing that REALLY bothered me! I’m not fat, I’m phat! : )
As a white male I have no clue as to how you feel hearing that word and all the associated history that follows it. I think I can sorta kinda understand because I had a lot of medical problems as a child, and I know in school after hearing some of the taunts I would end up wanting to kill them or myself. I imagine it is much worse in your situation. All I can say is that I am sorry that kind of shit is still going on, and frankly IMO the asshole needed to have his “clock” cleaned. Hopefully this asshole is in the minority and will soon go the way of the dinosaur.
The man was more than drunk, alcohol mearly makes you more of what you already are. He’s one of those twits who feel like they can do anything, and if someone actually stares at them (While they’ll making asses of themselves in public, imagine that), then they feel like they need to lash out at the starers.
Unfortunatly, the booger-eating moron can’t think of anyreally decent insults to throw, so he decides to try and push your button by flinging out the obvious physical and racial insults.
So, my final observation is that this guy is a finger-sniffing mouth breating monkey who throws words around like shit.
Sorry you got hit with his verbal fecal matter.
Vivian, my brother used to play backup for a large black woman with the most amazing voice. Once, when they were playing a gig in a medium sized town, a drunk in the audience called her a “fat nigger bitch”. She stopped, looked him in the eye and said “I can lose weight. I can move to a more enlightened place. I can even control the evil temper that is telling me to come kick your nasty face out the door. But I don’t have to. Tomorrow, I will wake up and feel fine about myself. And you, Mr. Drunken Fool, will still be a fool, but you’ll be hung over and wondering exactly how that microphone stand got shoved up your narrow ass.”
The place went wild, and she got a standing ovation. (Fellow Texans, that was the late Roosters in Brenham, a hotbed of cowboys with good manners and a taste for blues with their C&W)
She has lived in Canada, in Chicago and in Texas. And her take on the racism issue is that up North and in Canada, it’s hidden. Down South, especially in Texas, they don’t bother to hide it, but they don’t drag it out often, because of societal pressure. If one white guy around here hears another white guy spouting off in a racist manner, they’ll usually tell them to take their ignorance elsewhere.
Oh, at the end of the gig that I was talking about earlier, Drunk Guy tries to get near Diana. Drunk Guy is about 5’9". Drummer (6’2") and bass player (6’4", my baby brother) take him outside and drop him in the dumpster. And he’s too short and too drunk to get out. Diana insisted on calling the cops from her cell phone to have them get him out. But she did ask them to send a black officer. They did.
When I was taking my first Japanese class at a local community college, I was sitting around after class with a friend and another member of the class who was black. The black guy suddenly started complaining about one of the Korean girls in the class, using a number of racial comments and generally shocking us both. I still don’t know why he did that in front of us, since we weren’t his close friends. Maybe he assumed that since we were white, we’d be okay with that sort of comment.
My friend and I ended up looking at each other and walking away. I’m still sort of dazed by it.
Another reason not to take the TTC…half the time just waiting for the bus can be a colourful experience! 
OK, so that was cheesy with extra cheese.
Seriously, when I was a student I’d see some funny stuff waiting for the Subway (not a big fan of the buses). Drunk racist fuckers are just the begining.
Which bus stop was this at? Sounds like downtown…west end?
BTW Vivian, any chance of coming to Montreal for Dopefest August 15-17?
Badmana… I was at Jane & Wilson, which is close to the WORST place to be calling people names like that. If I was at Jane & Finch, I’m sure he may have ended up on CP24.
matt_mcl…I’m not sure if I can make it. I may be going to Texas (ho boy) for the week. But thanks for the invite.
And to all of you who’ve posted apologies for the drunken bastard, thank you. Its good to know there are decent people out there who would have just called me a fat bitch ; )
The thing about the incident was that I was speechless. I’m always quick to throw out a retort, but I was just so thrown off by just the word ‘nigger’. Afterwards, all I kept thinking was …this is 2003?! right??..AND I’m in Toronto of all places…
{{{{vivian}}}}, I’m so sorry you had to go through that, hon! 
I honestly don’t know what I’d do if some drunken lout had the nerve to come up to me and insult me in the manner you’ve described. All things considered, you handled things well. Have fun in Texas. 
thatDDperson, thank you for sharing that story with us! I had to wipe the tears outta my eyes it was so funny and yet sad too. Diana has the right of it. When folks insult other folks for no reason, then that means that they don’t feel real good about themselves. Your brother & Company had the right idea for where that obnoxious person needed to go.
Living in a country where “nigger” is not used (though we have our own very unpleasant racial terminology), I don’t understand people calling it “the N word” in hushed tones. I can’t help thinking that this well-intentioned attitude is going to prolong the significance of the word long enough that, sadly, it will still have a negative power it doesn’t deserve throughout our lifetimes.
The word is “nigger”. It is an ugly, hateful word, but I certainly have no problem with it being discussed on this board. Using it in anger, on the other hand, is an entirely different matter, but hiding behind euphemism is breathing unwanted life into this word.
Just my 2c.
What.A.Fucking.Blower.
I don’t even know what I would have done. Man! I have lived in several parts of the US and you just brought back so many memories for me.
Listen to me people: it is painful to be a black woman on this PLANET…but particularly in America. And what’s so sad is that I feel pretty comfortable in generalizing with that previous statement. I’m only 30 years old and still remember plain as day the girls in the upper-middle class communities of Memphis and Atlanta telling me, “You would be really pretty…if you were WHITE.” WTF!?
I could tell you stories…but this ain’t the place.
Vivian, I’m so sorry and thankful that you had the strength to not knock his ass out. Good on ya!
Damn those racists! I too am sorry you had to go through that. I’m wondering about the drunk girl. Where was she at? Was she standing there egging him on or was she standing there with a mortified look on her face? Or did she just book?
Someone on the bus hit him with a pop bottle? HAHAHA!