Much as I like reading about the self-described “*defecating dwarf,” I don’t really have a good grip on what he wants with the US. He’s building, and possibly has built, nuclear weapons, and I get the idea he wants to negotiate with the US on how he should stop. What’s going on???
*In an article I read one time, he made some ballet-like move, and told his guest, “I look like a defecating dwarf, don’t I?”
So what does Kim Jong Il want?
A bigger penis?
A pony?
A shiney new nickel?
Eh… I bet he just wants to get laid.
One million dollars.
Kim wants to be the “Great Leader” (or some such) for all Korean people. (And we all know what it would take for that to happen.) He wants to be considered as an equal on the world stage like any other “super” power leader. Hence, he wants the US to be “really nice” to him since he is such a swell, top-of-the-line guy. And since he isn’t get said fine attention, he’s going to hold his breath, “test” missiles over Japan, etc.
He is also getting quite good at blackmailing countries into ponying up aid.
If he ever became the “Great Leader” (oss) for all of Korea, he would probably start looking for further places to expand into.
On a more local 
level, his country is starving because he devotes so much money and energy to his military and his immense personal vices. So he also wants international aid. And I don’t mean to turn this into a big argument, but I think he also really does want a guarantee that the US won’t attack North Korea.