Along these lines, a lot of “gamers” call it a matter of numbers. Once you get it down, they maintain, 19 out of 20 women might turn you down, but if you persevere enough to try it out on 100 women, that’s 5 partners right there. And your patter improves with the practice, so your odds get better. That’s the theory anyway.
Oh, I don’t know. I’m sure that they’d be useful as case histories if someone were interested enough to take it that far. You could learn from someone else’s mistakes by the analysis and adapt techniques for your own use. I actually wish Strauss’s book existed when I was 19. Things might have gone differently in my life.
See seduction community. There are purported experts who have pioneered purportedly psychology-based techniques. You can buy books on it, or, if you’re willing to pay a lot more, take courses and seminars.
Also if you happened to catch the reality show The Pickup Artist in VH1, I believe the host “Mystery” is a protegie of Neil Strauss.
Here is the short answer as to what “game” is. You go into a bar, party or other social event. You see a woman you find attractive. What do you do to indicate to her your interest in pursuing a romantic relationship? Whatever you do or say at that point is your “game”.
A woman doesn’t know you from Adam. She only knows what you show her about yourself. Look, it’s not about pulling some Jedi mind shit. All you are doing is:
a) demonstrating to a woman that you are unique and desirable and not like every other douche in the bar
b) letting her know you are interested romanticly without coming on too strong and scaring her offf
c) recognizing when she is interested in you and giving you signals to take it to the next level
For most guys, they basically do one of three things:
stand motionless in the bar nursing a beer not talking to anyone
proceed to talk a girl to death until the conversation runs out of steam and becomes awkward
get drunk and stupid
None of which is particularly effective.
There are a whole set of behaviors and verbal and nonverbal cues for picking up a girl all of which can be learned. Physical appearance and dress is just part of the equation. And it applies whether you are looking to date an old friend or just looking for a one night stand in a bar. The problem is that like anything else, it comes from practice and experience and you don’t get that experience sitting at home playing World of Warcraft.
Also, it helps not being someone who sucks. Girls aren’t stupid and the smart ones can generally see through your bullshit.
Um…the same Flavor Flav that hosts a reality show where like 20 girls vie for his love?
The problem with that approach is that there is not an infinite amount of women in the club. There may actually only be 20 or so you want to get with. And as you proceed with your game and get shot down, you devalue yourself and reduce your chances of picking up any of the remaining women.
From what I could tell of the “Mystery Method” as seen on VH1, it basically consists of dressing like a clown, rolling up into the club when everyone is drunk and then making a bit of a spectacle to draw attention to yourself - big arm motions, saying offhanded remarks to random girls, being 6’5" doesn’t hurt, etc. Not rocket science but it works a lot better than playing the wall. After watching the show (with my girlfriend), I realize that I used some of his same techniques when I was single, I just didn’t know what they were:
“negs” - Basically saying really cocky, assholeish things, but in a fun teasing way. (I tend to do this naturally because I’m a sarcastic wiseass.)
the “bounce” - Or as I call it the “I know a party we can go to”. Basically, once things are going well, you invite her to another bar or party. Psychologically it demonstrates she trusts you and creates an illusion of a much richer and more exciting experience for her or something.
the “roll off” - Or as I call it the “I’ll be right back”. Basically, leave on a high note. That way she’ll want you to come back and you won’t wear out your welcome.
Anyhow, it’s just kind of funny seeing someone put into books stupid tricks my friends and I used to pull when we used to troll for the ladies (with varying degrees of success).
True, but I didn’t mean 100 times in one bar or even one night. I’d like to meet the guy who does 100 pick-up attempts at once. Actually, no I wouldn’t.
I dunno, it would be pretty amusing in video form, especially if he used these 100 pickup lines: http://www.juvenilecomedy.com/picku p.htm (not that NSFW but the ads on the site can get pretty bad Edit: the text is pretty NSFW, but hey, it’s a list of bad pickup lines, whadid you expect?)
That would be a different story though.
(Note: part of the game is probably knowing not to use these except in very special, probably irony fueled situations.)
One thing you need to understand is that there are no “women”. There is only this woman and that woman and that one and that one over there. What appeals to one woman will not appeal to another and vice versa. So there are no universal tricks that will always or even usually get you laid.
However, there are some behaviors that almost certainly will guarantee your not getting laid. One is making it evident that getting some is your primary object. In fact even thinking that way can be dangerous to your chances - a lot of women can pick up on it pretty easily. It depends on the girl. Some are looking for one night stands. Others are open to them, but not especially looking for them, and would prefer to find someone to date. And others yet are strictly a peck-on-the-lips goodnight and phone-call for a date. You have to decide if getting laid is worth enough bother to find out what kind she is and whether you want to go to the trouble of actually, like, dating her.
Look, I’m only one woman. But the women old and young I’ve talked to like a man who is funny, alive from the neck up, and interested in them from the neck up as well as the neck down. Beyond that, it’s really a matter of shared interests and the magic of “clicking.” And the latter truly is magic or at least defies further explanation - it can happen for people who are unattractive or undesirable by the usual standards, and there’s no way to make anyone outside of it understand it.
Neil Strauss was a protege of Mystery, not the other way around. Mystery has one way of doing his thing and it works for him. The whole “mystery method” is all about being flamboyant and attracting attention to yourself. Not just attention from women but attention from everyone in the room, the idea being that women will be drawn to a guy who captures people’s attention, whether they be male or female. It’s sort of a microcosm of the way rock stars have hundreds of women that want to fuck them just because they’re rock stars. People are drawn to people who people are drawn to.
That’s his method, other people have theirs. My own philosophy about the game is that if you approach it in a positive and goal oriented way, you will have success eventually, and like anything, you’ll get better and better with more practice.
Oh, and by the way, scrambled, any guy who talks about his ‘game’ is probably doing a lot more talking than succeeding. The more you think of women as objectives to be achieved rather than people to be enjoyed, the worse your chances are of enjoying their company in any way.
Well, some people (women as well as men) don’t want to “enjoy company” they just want to fuck, so if that’s all you’re interested in, you can approach that in a goal oriented way just fine, if you know what you’re doing.
I really disagree, I think it’s a skill that can be learned like any other. In The Game Neil Strauss describes the way in which he learned it from Mystery and Ross Jeffries and other guys. Granted, this is only one kind of game (the seduction community, which takes a very direct approach to it) and there are others that are just more natural and don’t require thought. Some people are just naturally charming. But I really think that someone who doesn’t have it naturally CAN learn it.
Much as I hate to say this Doperchicks are a very narrow segment of society, and one prone to more cerebral “game” that only a narrow segment of guys “got”.
Alot of these concepts as taught by these “systems” are not designed just to get you laid they are designed to draw positive attention to yourself. Its kinda like any website that can draw traffic will make money. Learn how to draw positive attention and getting laid will pretty much take care of itself.
As much fun as it might be to revel in our uniqueness, we are all hard wired to want sex. It is a common ground that crosses all social, political, economic, and religious barriers. Having “game” is about learning the human “mating dance” and learning to do it in such a way that appeals to the broadest group possible, learning common signs of receptiveness, and follwing up on them.
It is never a sure fire thing but it can bring the odds down from say a 1% chance of random methodologies getting you laid vs 10% with the systems. Thats the difference between 3-4 times a year and once every week and a half or so.
By definition, guys who “have game” are ones who the women are going home with. The ones commenting on it are not the ones who matter. The ones who matter are those who are making the decisions if the approach succeeds or not.
If women were the ones who regularly approached men, and men either accepted the approach or shot them down, that it would be all female posturing bullshit.
I’d agree with this except for the part about the broadest group possible.
If you’re good, then it’s not about the quantity, it’s about learning this about women you want to talk to.
