I agree that what Chris said was not necessarily an insult, he started by saying “I love you” to Jada.
Two other thoughts I had about this situation - When we first saw this on tv, I said to my spouse that I thought it was Jada that sent Will. By word or expression. If my spouse got up in a way that I could see was trouble, I would stay to stop. Most of the time that would work. 
I know the look. And as a man in a traditionally monogamous relation going on near four decades I know to fear it.
Add in that the Smiths are in an open relationship and that the man Ms Smith is known to be having sex with recently looks more traditionally masculine, well one does not have to write copy for People to guess that he may have felt more need to prove his manhood than others in long term marriages.
Bad decision.
Oh, I think it was a bald joke, but I also think he respects her well enough. Did you all see what Jeff Ross, the insult comedian, said?
It ends with him saying, “Anyway, I have Alopecia. It sucks. But when people make jokes I laugh because that’s life.”
I had noticed he lost all his hair(pretty much), but just assumed he went bald as he got older. I had no idea he had alopecia.
You really need to do some mental gymnastics to talk yourself into this not being a joke. First, it’s Chris Rock, this is his whole thing. Second, Chris Rock specifically said “Dude, it’s a GI Jane joke” to Will after the slap. Rock said “I love you” which is a thing celebs say to each other when they are busting chops. I mean, I agree that Smith was a complete asshat here and their relationship borders on toxic, but let’s not start twisting what happened to make it look worse.
I think it helps to recalibrate the way you think about this event. The audience, especially the tables at the front that are at stage level, are not actually the audience. The audience is the folks at home. The celebrities, especially the A-listers up front and the nominees, are part of the show. In fact they are more the stars of the show than the presenters are. This wasn’t a audience member who bought a ticket to a show assaulting the performer who’s doing his job. This was two coworkers having a altercation on the job.
That doesn’t excuse Smith at all, but it explains why security didn’t get involved and why no one really considered removing the Smiths from the event. They were on the job too.
In fact she has been suspiciously silent during all this.
Of course it was a joke. A joke can be an insult or a celebration or anything in between. No question if followed by You rock it! it would be heard as a celebratory joke.
Can you imagine the reaction if Will had knocked Chris unconscious? 
I was thinking the same thing. Or if Chris was knocked down and had to be helped up. Or if his nose was bloodied. The photos of “the slap” would be even more sensational.
This is sort of a sidetrack, but these comments about a spouse giving “Do something, I’m uncomfortable” looks, sound like scenes from the 1950s. Unless my wife was being physical overpowered, she is capable of handling any awkward situation, and does not need me to defend her honor.
That’s the reason I mentioned it. Jada has presence, and agency, presumably, to handle the situation herself. I would hope any woman would feel the same. Her sidelong glance to Will may have hinted at expectancy for him to do something, or it may have just been more of a sigh and eye-roll in his direction. Either way, he felt it necessary to do what he did, which was wrong. IMHO her look at him triggered the whole thing - it says more about him than it does about her.
I didn’t know this (nor care, but whatever) but it sets up a great comeback.
"yo, Will, that’s the best you got? Jada hits harder than that.
[beat]
But when she does it, it’s just foreplay."
I wonder if Will Smith’s “mom got scared” after he “got in one little fight”?
Craig Ferguson put it well. Before this, who disliked Will Smith? Not many people. Now, not too many comedians want to be his friend. The joke was tame and lame. Why ruin your big night over a snide comment? Not judging or justifying, but theoretically if he made much more severe fun of a bald man no one would even think twice about it. Because it is not the biggest deal.
You may think you live in a world where men and women are equals and there’s no remnant of chivalry still present, but you don’t. Your relationship might be that way, but it’s by no means universal, in fact I’m not sure it’s even common. It’s not a 50’s thing. Hell, in the 50s people didn’t really think to much about making fun of a woman’s looks one way or another.
I’ll also note that there’s a very large segment of the female population that doesn’t want to live in a world where no one will step up and defend them.
And he absolutely should have defended his wife if she was upset. With words. He already has a massive audience. He could tell them how important looks can be for self esteem, discuss how many others have similar afflictions, educate others or return the mockery - Chris made a movie about hair just over a decade ago.
Frankly I find it absurd that one would argue that people shouldn’t stick up for one another. Whether it’s your wife or if it’s a total stranger. If someone is being mocked for a disability, being treated misogynistically, racially stereotyped or whatever, we should be looking out for one another an calling out unacceptable bullshit when we see it.
That’s not advocating for violence, mild or otherwise, but saying that it’s weird for a person to stick up for a loved one is some dystopian shit.
The fact that grown people don’t understand this is an embarrassment.
Kareem makes this point (among others):
I’ve been very impressed by Kareem’s recent writings — including that piece. (But I would feel weird taking out a paid subscription to support him, since I assume he’s got plenty plenty money.)