So there I am at my regular watering hole last Saturday night, sharing some pints with some mates, when I feel the need to go to the bathroom. In front of the bathroom I find two fellows standing a few meters from the closed bathroom door. So as not to butt in, I ask them if the two of them constitute the queue. They nod in agreement. I ask why they don’t stand closer to the door, whereupon one of them proceeds to get, in the vernacular of our times, all up in my face.
He pontificates loudly and drunkenly on the subject for something like ten seconds (moral of his story: “I don’t need you to tell me where I can and can’t stand”), at which point he is interrupted by the opening of the bathroom door. He goes inside, I continue waiting. A minute later, the guy comes back out and the friend who was with him goes inside. So instead of going back to his beer, which I have on good authority was decarbonating rapidly with every passing second, he decided his time would be better spent ejaculating a few life lessons my way (along with a fair smattering of saliva). Truthfully speaking I don’t remember most of his tirade, but what stuck in my craw was the way he insisted on making trouble even after the initial altercation (which was pretty fucking stupid and uneccessary to begin with) was ended.
I’m a fairly easy-going guy in general, so I don’t often have these kinds of encounters. This guy really seemed to be spoiling for a fight, though, so I don’t know what’s gonna happen if I bump into him again on one of my nocturnal expeditions. My question, therefore, becomes: assuming this is your garden-variety boozer git who’s always spoling for a fight, and assuming he remembers me and thinks I’m a good target, what’s the best way for me to get him off my back for good? I don’t know if I’d be much good in a fight (haven’t been in one for almost 10 years), but aside from that unfortunate eventuality, what options do I have? Try to make peace, or try to somehow intimidate him into slinking off?
Any conflict resolution tips, whether from the workplace or the barroom, welcomed.
My comment is to simply avoid people that you know tend to get aggressive with a few pints under their belt… I’ve seen too many of these spineless, wimpy bastards when they’re sober, but turn into monsters that could take over the world when they’re drunk… Just ignore them and hopefully they’ll go and annoy someone else.
Plant him on his ass. I’m sorry, but I just don’t agree with the “ignore him” or “aviod him” advice. In my expierience in hundreds of bars, he’s just going to keep being a problem. If not to you, then to someone else. If you knock him on his ass, then if nothing else, he’ll think twice about doing it in the future.
However, like all things this does require some judgement on your part. If the guy is 6’5, 250lbs and looks like he can bend steel, then it’s probably not a good idea, as he really only has to land a blow once or twice to put you on your ass. That doesn’t mean that I advocate only standing up to guys that are smaller than you, just that if he’s much much bigger than you, think twice.
And I do live with the idea that a fight is something to win, not something to be proud of. You’re not meeting this guy on the field of honor, he gets mouthy again, slam him into the wall, knee him in the nuts, and tell him to knock off being a smart ass. Don’t talk about it, don’t argue, don’t work yourself up to it…because he’s doing the same thing. Most people have to work themselves up to doing violence. So if you cut through all the crap, and just go right to the altercation, you’ll probably catch him off guard. And even if someone steps in to stop things before they get physical, he’ll at least know that you were willing to stand up to him, and most probably bother someone else.
*the above is just my humble opinion, and may not work for you, or anyone else.
IMHO, one should never fight unless they absolutely have to. If you continue to have problems with this guy when you are out at the pub and talking to him won’t resolve the issue, the pub will probably see this problem and deal with him. That is what bouncers are for.
If the guy eventually does take a swing at you, by all means, defend yourself and drop the bastard, but don’t beat him sensless either. Use just enough force to incapacitate him. You will come off looking like the hero who got rid of a jerk instead of looking like a jerk yourself.
I’ve always found that with belligerant drunks a quick and hard punch, delivered with the knuckle extended out from the fist and landed on the throat, right around the Adam’s Apple, to be an effective way to end trouble with one person. Just make sure that his buds aren’t around to see it happen, at least not if their group seriously outnumbers yours.
I don’t think anyone here is advocating killing the annoying drunk, just dispensing advice on the fastest way of getting rid of the threat. Sure, fighting is not often the best option, but reasoning with drunks, especially those who are already belligerant, is usually a waste of time. In my experience, attempting to do so, or even turning to walk away, often enrages these types even more. You have to make a quick decision as to what type of person the drunk is and act accordingly.
Either confront the guy or learn to live with having been afraid to fight.
Maybe catch him before he gets drunk and confront him about the incident, ask him if he even remembers, see if you can turn it into a joke and have a pint together. Chances are it was a misunderstanding. You can probably get away with teasing him about it a bit unless he’s a real asshole.
If he sees you coming first and/or starts talking trash, you gotta throat chop him, kick him in the nuts, etc. as mentioned before. If he’s too big for you, tackle him and hope someone breaks it up soon. If you can get a punch in before the tackling, that might make you look better. Ah, shit, either way if you fight him you either have to completely whoop his ass or get yours whooped.
Yep, another reason I avoid bars. Here in the states, if you do any permanent damage to him, you are in a world of hurt with the law. So? You can control yourself, does that mean he isn’t going to hurt you. Do you know he does not have a knife, or will grab a pint glass and introduce it to your face?
Fight when you must, but swallowing pride tastes a lot better than swallowing blood.
BTW, if he is drunk, a kick in the balls will most likely piss him off. Throat is good, but the eyes are better. A nice quick hard poke in his eye, like you are reaching out to tap a table with your fingertips, will slow him down immediately enough that you can remove yourself from the situation.
