I’ve run into this twice, now. I work for a very large company with a somewhat intimidating and cold CEO. My group at work coordinates company-wide meetings and several other social situations, and on two occasions I’ve found myself standing right next to him in an awkward silence, trying desperately to think of something to say.
On both I’ve chickened out. I’ve said nothing that wasn’t in response to a direct introduction (it doesn’t bode well that I’ve been introdiced three times and made zero impression). And there’s another event coming up and I can just imagine this happening again.
So what should I talk about? What would you talk about with your company’s CEO, given the chance?
I dunno, try sports. I was at a political rally a few weeks back and Gephardt was there. It was really just the two of us backstage, so I started making fun of the Rams to him (respectfully, of course) knowing he’s from the St. Louis area. He thought that was funny and explained his theory that the whole thing was a display of Martz’s genius and Martz was throwing the season to grab a high draft pick. And then we moved onto the Cardinals and the playoffs and we talked baseball for about five minutes before a press person pulled him away. Good times.
But yeah, try sports. Especially if he has memorabilia in his office or something.
Our CEO dresses in blue jeans and polo shirts. Once I shared the elevator with him and commented to the effect that he “sure didn’t look like a CEO”. After I left the elevator, and upon reflection, I decided that it’s probably a good thing that he doesn’t know my name due to my lowly position and the number of employees in our building.
But to get back to the topic at hand: what do you discuss with the CEO? Whatever you would say to any other colleague. I like the personal approach to make for a friendlier environment. e.g. “My daughter was in her first piano recital!” “I just changed my first diaper!” “My father just marched with his buddies in a Veteran’s Day Parade, and I was proud of him!”
Avoid controversial issues. Sample no-nos:
[ul][li]Boy, we sure beat those Dems in the last election" “Republican control of the Senate is going to send this country straight into the trash heap.”[/li][li]“I can’t believe that this Christian guy has a website called god hates fags .com”[/li][li]Do you know what felching is?[/li][/ul]
Ah yes, felching. A glorious topic, and one sure to make an indelible impression. No more repeated introductions for me!
The sports angle might work-- I’ll have to find out what teams he’s into. Or maybe dogs, since I hear he has a… Springer Spaniel, I think. I just need to work up the confidence to open my mouth. Like I said, he’s quite cold, so blurting out any old thing doesn’t work the way it does with less lofty human beings (I assume-- too scared to try).
If you’ve been to B-School, you may have heard the expression “elevator speach”. Basically, the idea is this - you are trapped in the elevator with the CEO/boss/client/etc. You have 30-60 seconds to sell this guy on an idea, answer a question, or in general make a good impression.
Save the sports or cochier spanial talk for your manager or someone you are more familiar with. Try bringing up a positive article about your company from a recent magazine. “Hey, great news about the merger Mr. Johnson” not “too bad about those disappointing Q4 earnings”.
My company’s CEO was named one of People Magazine’s 50 most beautiful people the year I started working there (3DO was the Next Big Thing, in theory at least).
The joke was that if he ended up in the next urinal, you would look over and say “that’s one of the 50 most beautiful penises I’ve ever seen”
My current office is extremely informal, but I had this problem at previous jobs. I’d go with mentioning something positive about the company’s performance or one of your projects.
My recent question to our president:
“If your G-string breaks while you’re on stage, how do you handle it?”
I end up at corporate dinners with the CEO and the President of the group on a semi-regular basis.
At a cocktail party, I’ve found that our big bosses want to talk about just about anything BUT work and the company. Because of the kinds of people they are, however, they are genuinely interested in the economy, politics, the legal ramifications of new regulations in our industry, new technology in our industry, etc.
So, I’ve managed to strik up really good conversations with out CEO (who isn’t as much of a wonk as he was a couple of years ago, frankly) about the general state of the FCC, new technologies that we are using to cover news, etc. And at least with our CEO, sports isn’t a bad topic - he’s a big college football fan.
If you find yourself next to the CEO during a more work-oriented event, however, I’ve found it best to stay on topic and pretty much follow his lead on the conversation.
YOu can do what I do and stick your foot in your mouth.
At my last job a few of us who had just got promoted, had just finished getting training for our new position when a lady came up to us and asked “so do you think you’re prepared?”
What did I say “Oh heck no, that training was bullshit…” I then proceded to outline in great detail exactly where they went wrong. A girl I was with elbowed me in the gut, I ignored her and she elbowed me harder so I said “What the fuck?” And she whispered to me “That’s the CEO of this company!” I did my best to cough my foot out of my mouth but the damage was already done.
On a serious note sports seems safe as long as you sound like you know what you are talking about. Make a bet on the Super Bowl or something like that. I also would avoid work stuff.
I asked him how he broke his arm, just as my 10 year old son dropped a dove bar on the carpet in the company skybox at a cowboys game. Between the two of us, I don’t think we made a good impression.
At my last job, we got a new CEO (actually, Regional Vice President, but he had the same effect in our office) the month I got pregnant. When he moved into his office, he had the furniture rearranged so that my desk was in his line of sight, and he would sit at his desk staring at me for much of the day. I’m not a raving beauty, nor did he seem obsessed with me, so I believe he just had such poor social skills that he didn’t realize he shouldn’t stare idly at his employees. When we had to speak, I would talk briefly about the weather or something and then stand in awkward silence.
That all changed a few months later, when his own wife got pregnant. By that time I was pretty obviously well along, and he’d break the ice by asking me things like, “Is it true pregnant women have to go to the bathroom more often? Why is that?”
And I wonder why I never went back after maternity leave.
Since I work in a small company this is an everyday occurence, and we talk about everything. Were I to found myself talking to the CEO of the company that supplies most the equipment we install, I’d suggest to him that he should go postal in his engineering department and wipe every one of the cluelees idgets off if the face of the planet - and then he should shoot himself for letting the company get into such lousy shape. Maybe afterwards they could repopulate the whole company with people who can tell their asses from a hole in the ground without resorting to their sense of taste.
I found myself alone in the elevator with the CEO of our company, a few days after she’d been unceremoniously “kicked upstairs” after 30-some years with the company. I didn’t know if she was delighted with the golden parachute or in despair, so I told her, “wow—what a lovely suit,” and that seemed to work quite well for the brief elevator ride.
