Potayto, potahto.
I assumed when he said fuck, he meant it with an unstated assumption of consent, much like when you see someone attractive on TV and say “I’d do him/her.”
I’d probably use the intercom to call for help, then sit on the floor, get out my iPod, and start doing sudokus to pass the time. I’m not usually the one to start conversations.
If the other person started the conversation, I would keep up on it for as long as it was interesting to me and on a topic that seemed amicable, and when it ceased being either, I would again get out the sudokus.
I wouldn’t care who it was. I’d just say “hit the flo’” and dive onto the floor.
Well, no matter who it was, first I would ask if they were a poster on the SDMB. Because if they are, OH FFS! you can’t have a conversation about anything meaningful with one of them without it turning into a burbling caldron of shite. 
So, I guess the real answer is - iPhone until the battery dies. Then nap.
That’s an interesting assumption to.make, that any woman would consent to sex with a stranger, especially one who would engage in cannibalism, armed robbery or verbal assault.
Even moreao, when the stranger doesn’t like her.
“So… how about that Final Solution, huh?”
Sorry, don’t see it.
Man, that would make the next four hours awkward.
So, get to Disneyland much?
Kim K., alone in a room with a man, and there’s a (security) camera in the elevator. She getting laid if you want to or not. 
“I’ve got a cat that has that same mustache. She’s got Nein lives. We call her Kitler. I’ve got some pictures in my wallet.”
Does the person have to be currently alive? Because if not, then that opens up a lot of options - Stalin, Hitler, Mengele, Pol Pot, Nero, etc, etc.
Of course, I’m not fluent in German, and I don’t know if, say, Hitler spoke English. If he didn’t, that would be a shame - bring back one of the most discussed villains in the history of the world, only to spend four hours awkwardly staring at the floor.
Stupid smartphone. The above was intended to be a response to the below:
Sorry.
*I presume that when I’m quoting myself, I’m permitted to clean up typos.
Huh?
Oh, the location field. Not much. Last year on kaylasmom’s birthday, along with a houseguest. And kaylasmom, of course. Before that, our latest visit had been in 2012, when I won a radio contest that gave us an overnight stay in the Dream Suite. Fact is, since Disney parks started cracking down on people’s ability to abuse the special assistance available to the physically handicapped, kaylasmom hasn’t been that enthusiastic about going there a lot; certainly not enough to justify the expense of an annual passport
Kayla bought an annual passport with some money she got for Christmas (well, she made the down payment; the monthly payments have been coming out of my checking account). She goes with her high school friends who have passes or parents who work there and can sign them in.
If I was stuck with Stephen Colbert, I’d break the ice by speaking to him in elvish.
“Neri Colbert! Utúlie’n aurë! Auta i lómë! Elen síla lúmenn omentielvo.”
That should get things going.
Then we’d talk about Melko and Gwerlum and Meassë and Ómar Amillo and other obscure folk from the JRRT legendarium.
Try to get them to help me find a way out? 
If it were Limbaugh, I’d probably talk football, since he’s a Steelers’ fan. (I guess it’s one of those blind squirrel = nuts things)
You hate Colbert? Do you also hate sunshine and rainbows?
I would hope I’ve got a foul fart within me, turn my back to them and let 'er rip.
I like him, I like to hate his persona. It’s fun.
I’ve never met Bill Murray but I dislike him. I really would have a hard time being stuck in an elevator with him. I don’t think I would bother to try and break the ice. It would be games on my iphone time.