My friend and her husband divorced a few months ago. She wanted it more than he did (the divorce, I mean ) and she got what I understand as 'sole custody’of their 3 yr. old daughter. He has weekly visitation rights
but was very upset over his wife’s divorce request and was (understandably) very bitter throughout the process. He is being responsible in every way for his daughter, but seems hostile towards his ex.
She is now working and receiving child support from him, but still needs to establish herself in some kind of career, replace furniture that was divided in the divorce, etc. She wants to send their daughter away to her mother in Puerto Rico for a couple of months to get herself established.
I suspect the father would have to approve this, right?
IANAL, but Dad would have to agree to a temporary modification of the custody order to allow Mom to send the child away. Sending the child to PR would violate the custody order (unless Grandma was planning on flying the child back to Dad for his weekly visits) and if Mom does it without a modified custody order she could go to jail for contempt. She may request the modification and the judge may approve it over Dad’s objections, but her just sending the kid will land her in a cell.
First of all, the statement ‘sole custody’ can mean many things. She might have sole physical custody, but they share legal custody. She might have sole legal custody. What she can do would be affected by the actual status.
Also, the laws are different from state to state. She should look up or discuss with someone who has specialized knowledge what the law of her particular state is.
Having said all that, in general Otto’s answer that she can’t just unilaterally act to put the father’s visitation rights in abeyance for some period of time is correct. She wouldn’t be tossed in the clink (though they might threaten contempt of court with a fine), but she would likely have to bring the boy back on short notice and make other plans.
As always with family law issues, I recommend she consult with the dad and see what he is willing to agree to in advance. Way too many divorced couples refuse to maintain basic politeness and communication with each other; where both have a valid interest in children, that’s simply not the right way to handle things. Talk it out, get it solved, get the court to approve it, and then do it.
I wish I could read minds, then I would know what country they are in right now…
Fetch a book, Child Custody Made Simple. About 400 pages of the most complete information one could want.
No, the child CANNOT leave USA without approval of the father. Period.
Ummm… Handy, where was the possibility of the child leaving the US mentioned?
Back to the OP:
If your friend doesn’t think she can handle the child, why did she want sole custody? Why not have the father take care of her daughter why she’s trying to establish herself? Why does she think that the girl would be better off with her grandmother than her father?
ditto The Ryan. Forgive me, I know you said she was a friend, but this gal doesn’t sound like a winner to me. At least not on the parenting front.
Frankly, though you say the father was bitter through the divorce, this action makes me wonder how much of the bitterness came from her.
On another note, you didn’t say the Mother and Father’s location. Are they at least close to PR? I’d be infuriated if I was the father and I lived in say California.
If you have divorced and your ex-spouse has any remaining rights in the care of your child (regardless whether it’s custody or visitation rights or just alimony), you must talk to your lawyer before doing anything which would affect your ex-spouse’s ability to see your child. Perhaps the lawyer will be able to say that you don’t need to notify anyone. Perhaps he’ll say that you need to negotiate this with your ex-spouse before doing anything. Perhaps he’ll say that you would have to go back to the judge for a change in the custody arrangements. But you definitely need a legal opinion on this.
) and she got what I understand as 'sole custody’of their 3 yr. old daughter. He has weekly visitation rights