My husband recently returned from a long deployment and is about to go on leave, which basically means he’ll be on vacation for a few weeks. I’m 8 months pregnant with twins and experiencing signs of preterm labor, so not only can I not do much physical activity, but I might go into labor at any moment. Ordinarily, we’d go camping, but we don’t want to stray far from my hospital as the babies are breech in addition to preterm. I can walk short distances, but even going grocery shopping drains me.
We’ve busied ourselves playing video games, getting ready for the boys, and setting up our new home, but I can tell my husband is getting antsy from being cooped up all day. I’ve encouraged him to go out with his friends, but after being apart from me for so long, he’s reluctant.
We recently went on a picnic with friends and I stayed behind at a picnic table while he explored around the park with a friend, which would be perfect as a regular activity except that his closest friends will be working during his leave. I’ve thought about getting a wheelchair from somewhere, but it seems an unnecessary expense when I’m only going to be using it for a month at the most. The weather is too cold here for swimming.
I know that part of his boredom comes from lack of intellectual stimulation. I’ve thought about doing a craft project like building a bookshelf, but I also don’t want something half finished cluttering up our home, and we don’t really need any items.
My current plan is to work on a language and teach ourselves a few courses with Khan Academy and books from the library, but I’d love more suggestions, especially ones that will get us out of the house together.
I t sounds like you may be overburdening yourself with worring about how he will be entertained. He is a big boy, just got back from fighting a war. You are both in this together and the both of you are having a tough pregnancy. Starting a family is a lot of responsiblity and you are starting to experience those right now. I would just trust him to adapt and take advantage of the downtime you two might be spending together over the next few weeks.
There are agencies out there that can and will loan you a wheelchair for free! Google “hospital equipment loan program” and see if there’s one near you. Typically you just show up (usually on a Saturday morning), express your need, and roll on out with pretty much whatever you need.
You can often borrow a wheelchair to see places like museums and zoos, FYI. Call ahead and make sure they have one or two, and then he can push you around the art museum or aquarium or whatever.
If swimming is out, would kayaking/rafting be also? You drop him off, then drive to a park father down the river and wait with a picnic lunch, he shows up hours later, worn out, and you’ve been able to read a book the whole time?
May not be the best idea, right now, to go out even that much.
How about cooking? Does you husband like to cook? Or, if not “like”, can he cook? He could spend some time stocking up the freezer, including trying new recipes. You’ll both benefit from that in the long term, trust me. Or he could go to Let’s Dish or similar business (if there are any near you) where he could have all the food basically pre-prepared, then he just assembles it, labels it, then freezes it.
What kinda TV do you have? If a TV upgrade might be in the budget, get yourselves a nifty new big-screen TV and watch every movie you’ve wanted to watch with him for the past few months. He can jump around and yell at the screen all he wants, you can lie there and smile serenely.
Can he build you a pond in the back yard or maybe a garden? Maybe he could build an old fashioned baby crib with the bent bottom so that it rocks. Repaint the baby room? Build baby beds that look like race cars for when they’re a bit older?