What can I do for a Valentines/birthday/midwinter treat?

In My Humble Opinion
1

My husband is run ragged right now.

I’m almost 35 weeks pregnant, so I toss and turn all night and it must be affecting his sleep badly. He thinks he’d rather be in bed with me than sleep properly, so he won’t ever go to the guest room. Sometimes I do go there for the second half of the night. This makes neither one of us happier, but at least we’re somewhat rested.

There’s all of the baby-on-the-way tension, too. We will be first time parents, and while we’re stoked and elated, we’re also tense and a little scared. He worries about me more than he needs to.

The winter is dragging on and on and on. We’ve had snow on the ground since December 1. He has cabin fever REALLY bad, and the snow and ice and sleet are a constant home maintenance worry. He had to stay home two days last week because of the weather, and was antsy and unhappy that whole time, then had to work this weekend to make up for it. Because I’m so pregnant he doesn’t want me driving around in the snow and ice, so he’s been doing almost all of the errands. The amount of snow shoveling to do has been epic… all of the ice and sleet from last week’s storm couldn’t be snow-blown away.

He is run ragged at work. He really does the work of two people. His boss even wanted him to come in in the middle of the blizzard last week (grrrrr). He comes home from work physically and mentally exhausted, so much so that he mostly wants to stay home and chill when he can, rather than go places.

Next week is both Valentine’s Day and his birthday. I need help thinking of something special to do for him and make a bright spot in the middle of all this tiring winter gloom. Unfortunately, I’m fresh out of ideas. Help.

Because I’m so pregnant, I can’t get on an airplane so we can’t have a February getaway to somewhere warm, as we often have before. Also because I’m so pregnant, sexual acrobatics are pretty much more trouble than they’re worth, for both of us. Also because I’m so pregnant extravagant gifts are out of the question, or I would seriously buy him an iPad.

He likes being in the woods, foraging, gardening, vacuum tubes and other vintage electronics, warm places like the Caribbean, travel and culture, good food, having time to himself, and napping on the sofa with “Curb Your Enthusiasm” playing in the background.

Any ideas?

2

If he’s exhausted and gone a lot anyway and it’s nasty out, he may see going out as just another chore. How about something like this: A nice meal from his favorite restaurant, delivered. Then a nice hot oil back rub on the couch while he listens to that music he likes and drifts off into a nap.

3

Can you get a friend/neighbor to get you some secret groceries and make him a special dinner?

I am thinking baked or broiled or grilled fish with mango pineapple salsa, yucca fries or fried plantains, black beans and rice and a nice dessert, all using caribbean recipes?

You can at least then make him a nice special dinner that he doesnt have to shop for, and it would be a nice surprise. Maybe include a homemade gift certificate for something nice at a later date =)

4

Yes, probably releasing him from any obligation to go out for Valentine’s day would be a gift in itself, heehee. Not that we’ll be able to go anywhere alone together for a very, very long time, if we wait much longer…

5

Send him to the tanning bed, for one. A little sunshine, even if it’s fake, can make a huge difference in your mood and the warmth feels awful damn good in this sort of weather. It’s not nearly so nice as actually going someplace warm and sunny, but it can be a surprisingly good substitute for something that costs $4 and takes 10 minutes.

And I totally agree about the dinner, either takeout or homemade. At Christmas we get Chinese takeout and transfer it to our nice plates, get out the good tablecloth, light some candles, open some wine…it’s awesome, and the only work involved is putting a couple plates, glasses, and bowls in the dishwasher. It’s a shame you don’t live local to me; at work we’ve adapted the idea for Valentine’s and I could bring it to you.

6

Online shopping. Get him a BIG bag of chocolate covered expresso beans.

7

How about a night in a local hotel? An indoor pool, maybe a whirlpool, room service (or even a picnic brought by you - room service is crazy expensive).

Both of you may enjoy just getting away from home for a night, lock the door and turn off the phone.

8

Yeah - I see several people have mentioned a nice meal at home and that’s my idea as well. Was going to also suggest a blowjob but you ruled that out already ;).

A meal either from a nice restaurant, or a personal-chef kind of person - one that neither of you has to prepare or clean up after.

Maybe hire a neighborhood teenager to help with any future shovelling needs this winter (and may those be few to nonexistent!).

If you’ve got a nice TV, an evening in front of the couch with popcorn / movie munchies and a new release can be a lot nicer than a theater movie.

9

Oooh - this inspires me as well. Would hubby enjoy a professional massage (from a therapist, not the “happy ending” sort!!)? Some of them do housecalls which would be fantastic. And he’ll get a better massage than you’re likely up for at 350 weeks pregnant (not typo, I know it FEELS like 350 weeks!!). A nice hotel might have someone on staff, if you do the hotel though that gets up into iPad pricing. But even a mid-range hotel might have a whirlpool / pool available.