It’s that most dreaded time of the year for those of us who face relationship pitfalls. I’ve got mine pretty much locked in…but that doesn’t mean I can’t suffer a cold night on the couch!
Ladies and gentlemen (though I care about the answers of the ladies), I have to come up with a gift for my lady for Valentine’s Day.
I made the mistake (yes, total bastard who should be castrated, I know) of not getting her something for our first VD two years ago. In my family the only holidays we ever did anything for were birthdays and Christmas. Obviously, I wont make the mistake again…
She’s doing a “Biggest Loser” thing with pretty much every other teacher at her school, so chocolate is out. She just got a new oven (stop booing!) that’s pretty much her big gift. That takes any jewelry that’s not cheap costume jewelry out of the equation. Flowers are so…temporary. A night out is hard to arrange because we have a baby who is only four months old.
Any suggestions, kids? I ain’t the most romantic individual in the world.
Get a sitter and make her a romantic dinner?? Romantic massage for 2 or you give her one? Make her a romantic bath with rose petals and candles and you take care of the baby? (congrats on baby btw) hmmm…
I think giving of yourself is always a winner. How about a candlelight dinner, prepared by you? It doesn’t have to be fancy, maybe her favorite entree w/ a bottle of wine. You might preceed this by preparing a hot scented bath and allow her to luxuriate while your putting the final touches on the meal, then some really personal atttention after.
Of course, if the baby needs attention, you take care of that.
I love flowers because they are temporary. And if you made the effort to go to a florist in advance of Valentine’s Day to place the order for delivery, I’d make sure you had a good evening, too. Then again, not all ladies enjoy receiving flowers.
If she’s doing some sort of weight loss challenge, maybe she’d like to receive some sort of gift package for a fresh haircut/manicure/pedicure/massage?
Or arrange for a sitter and then spend some alone time letting her know she’s still special to you, maybe do what you did on your first date, or some other special date?
If finances are tight at the moment, even a card with note about all the reasons you fell in love with her and the future you hope to share will be appreciated.
I thought you said that you weren’t talking about the disease.
I have a real problem with Valentine’s Day ideologically, and I refuse to get in to the whole “you don’t love her unless you buy her X!” thing. I generally have pretty good luck doing something simple along the lines of what everyone else here is saying, though. Last year, I made her a really nice dinner, and baked her favorite dessert for her to enjoy while we just relaxed and watched a movie (things were really hectic at the time and she appreciated being able to just sit around). This year, we’re more long distance than I would generally appreciate, and money isn’t the best in the world… I’m sending her a handwritten letter that she’ll get on VD telling her how much I care, and why, and how I shall continue to care, and how much I miss her, etc etc.
Basically, my whole line of thought ends up being “VD is really stupid… but at the same time, if it’s a convenient time to make her feel special, and I can do something that isn’t just contrived and consumerism-driven, then dammit, I want her to feel special!” So figure out what will make her feel special, and go with it.
Presumably you can’t arrange a night out because she’s breastfeeding the baby? How about a night in with someone else doing the cooking and waiting and washing up?
A couple at work had to drop off their daughter at the airport in the nearest big town. On the way back he surprised her with a picnic, had all the fixings stashed in the trunk, place picked out, red and white check wicker baskett, like that.
Definitely doesn’t have to be anything expensive. What is important to me about any gift is that you thought about it. Know that I hate ironing? Do those 3 shirts for me that have been in the laundry room since Novemeber. Know that I’m addicted to caffeine? Bring me coffee in bed. Know that I love cheese? Bring me a wedge. Know that Fontina is my favortie cheese? Extra bonus points for that.
I don’t know how computer saavy you are but my friend’s husband made a dvd with a bunch of pictures of them set to music. It was one of the sweetest things I have ever seen and cost next to nothing but his time.
How much weight is she trying to lose? Is it going to translate to sizes or just a couple inches?
When you’re losing weight - or breastfeeding, I assume - it’s hard to justify buying nice clothes for yourself at the moment because you hope to not be the same size in a short while.
What about offering to buy her something sexy/comfortable/pretty to wear for right now - weightloss be damned?
