"Some people say that cucumbers taste better pickled"

The thread title comes from a rather hilarious Chappelle show sketch where Chappelle responds to a trial prosecutor’s question with this hilarious non sequitur.

So firstly, what are your favorite non sequiturs? Two, do you prefer pickles over cucumbers? I do. Dill all the way :cool:

Might as well, can’t dance.

My favorite non-sequiter would have to be the Chewbacca Defense.

To see the Chewbacca Defense in action (legally), go to www.southparkstudios.com , then go to Full Episodes, and look for “Chef Aid” under season 2.

I’m fond of the motto of the American Non-Sequitur Society:

We may not make sense, but we do like pizza.

But the best is from the master of the form, G. Marx: “And East is East and West is West and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.”

“Son, you got a panty on your head.”

If a duck-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long does it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?

It doesn’t matter, because we’re doing a money trick.

Yes, of course, but what does that have to do with the price of tea in China?

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but you are one dumb Polock.”-- Archie Bunker

Heh. I tried that - when I clicked “Full Episodes” I got a pop-up with five characters with :expressionless: faces and “SORRY SCANDINAVIA!”

Don’t get me started on those fucking Greeks.

From a Norm MacDonald impression of Larry King:

Hee, sorry about that. I often forget that not all Dopers reside in North America. And not everybody knows that most of the U.S. video sites are only available here.

Here is a link to the text of the Chewbacca Defense for those unfamiliar with it.

When working on someone’s PC, I like to drawl out, “Well, there’s your problem, son, you got a squirrel stuck in the manifold!”

I like the one from Twin Peaks:
“The owls are not what they seem.”

I’m a proud member of the Non Sequitur Society of America. We may not make sense, but we sure do like pizza!


I like the one that friends of mine and I use to break up uncomfortable silences: “So the bear takes the squirrel, and…”

(It’s the punchline to a joke in which the bear asks the squirrel if poop sticks to his fur, and the squirrel says no.)

One of my cousins used to enjoy saying, just for the hell of it, “One of my eyes is too big but the other one don’t make sense.”

My mom tells me about a girl she used to know in Catholic school who made up this little poem. It makes no sense in English or Spanish:

Elefantito, elefantito
Que vuelas de flor en flor
Te comprare unos anteojitos
Para que no andes descalzo.

Little elephant, little elephant,
Who flies from flower to flower
I’ll buy you a little pair of glasses
So you don’t go barefoot.