I know all of you out there sitting at your computers, from the halls of Joe, Montana, to the shores of the Twin Cities, are just dying to know all about my day. These certainly aren’t as risque as other things I’ve shared, [sub]coughTMI Threadcough[/sub], but they are great, wonderous, magical adventures in their own right.
Today was just an average day in the life of Ender, but certain things seemed to spike the weird-o-meter. So I thought I’d share. Now sit there like good boys and girls and pay attention.
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I had lunch at Einstein Bagels. Normally I don’t go there, for I feel that the amount of food given for the price ain’t a good deal. But it was there and so was I. Anyway, I was looking over the menu and there was a section called “Challah Rolls” using challah instead of bagels for the sandwiches. Four items there. Three of them were unkosher. Two of them had bacon in them! I mean…c’mon! I know bagels are already jewish food, but challah is like Jewish plus! At least try to get it right. Anyway, I pointed it out to the guy behind the counter and he just shrugged.
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I was in a coffeeshop. There was this guy there and a really old woman came in and sat down at his table. Apparently they were friends. Well, she had trouble walking and, it seems, quite a bit of trouble hearing. He said to her “I really like to come here. It’s such a quiet coffeeshop.”
“What?”
“I said I really like to come here. It’s such a quiet coffeeshop.”
“What?”
“I SAID I REALLY LIKE TO COME HERE. IT’S SUCH A QUIET COFFEESHOP!”
“oh yes, it is.”
3)Finally, the coup de la, um, coup. I was in an antique shop. Don’t ask what I was doing there, it was just right next to the coffee shop. I’m wandering around in it and there are some really interesting things. Then I see this wooden box. I open it up and it has all these dials and levers and metal parts on the inside. There’s also some sort of rolling thing near the back. Attached to the box is the book “Electrical Medicine at Home.”
This is, by far and away, the scariest book title I had ever seen. I flipped through it. It explained in detail how to cure things like Asthma, constipation, an inflamed anus, and muscle aches, by hooking electrodes up to your body and shocking yourself! :eek:
I’m pretty sure the back of the book explained how to hook suction cups up to your body and attach them to a watermill.
And now I’m in the library about to study. So I will. G’day.