My 12 year old niece has done this twice … asked me to take down a picture of her, even after she un-tags it. We’re not talking about anything obscene or inappropriate here - just what she thinks is an unflattering picture. Like I said, she’s 12 and is very self-concious right now. What would you do?
I do. It’s facebook; it isn’t worth upsetting someone over even if it is something I see as silly.
Well since it’s a kid, prolly take it down for blackmail when they’re older and gainfully employeed.
My personal friends would get their pics all graffitied up into something worse, and reposted.
If someone I loved asked me to take down a photo of them so it wouldn’t be popping up in their little highlights sidebar, I’d do it. Especially if it was a kid that age. I remember what it’s like to be that age and have your mom/aunt/granny showing everybody and their dog pictures of you that are just awful. It sucks major donkey balls.
By and large, my rule of thumb is that if something I consider piddly upsets somebody I care about, it’s just not worth fooling with. If something as little as taking down a picture or not telling a certain story or whatever is going to be the difference between them being happy or upset, I’m going for making them happy.
I would take it down; there’s a few awful pictures of me out there, and I can’t help cringing when I see them…and I’m 31 years old. If I were 12 I’d probably take it a lot more seriously.
Be sympathetic and take it down.
Be the cool aunt and respect her wishes and treat her like an adult. When she’s grown up you can readdress the issue. Right now she’s got enough people in her life embarrassing her.
If someone asks you to do something, do it out of courtesy. Especially in the teen years, kids are self concious enough. If anyone wants to see your niece you can email them a photo.
You can’t explain to a teen that she/he isn’t ugly, just try to remember how you were back then, and comply with her request, there’s enough important things to fight about in life, without this.
I take a lot of photos. If I want to be welcomed to events and encouraged to take photos I have to remove things when people want them removed; no questions asked. There are a few exceptions, but it would have to be very important photos to merit an exception.
I really don’t like the fact that people post pictures of me on Facebook - I have one picture I have posted which is my avatar, and I think I should have the right to decide if any more are added. So I definitely think you should take it down if she’s specifically asked you to, regardless of the reason.
I think if someone asked me to take down a picture of them I’d put on Facebook, regardless of reason, I would take it down. It just seems rude to keep a photo of someone in the public eye after they’ve expressed a preference for it not to be.
And while I’m not such a prima donna as to demand someone take down a photo of me because it’s unflattering, I’d hope a true friend or kind relative would do the same for me if I asked.
Depends how much I like the person, of course. (and how much I like the photo otherwise)
I would, yes. The only exception might be if they were just in the background of the photo and not highly visible. Even then I might cut them some slack and crop them out or look for another photo.
It’s not something I would ask other people to do for me, but at the same time it’s a small gesture I can do for someone else that literally costs me nothing.
ETA: this is all hypothetical, I don’t post photos on Facebook, I just lurk.
I don’t think I’d post pictures of underage relatives on Facebook at all, actually.
Adults, yeah, I’d take the pictures down, but they’d probably get an eye-roll for asking.
She has her own page, which is heavily monitored by her parents. I took it down. No biggie.
I’m not sure why the eye-roll is appropriate. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to take down unflattering or embarrassing photos. Just trying to understand your comment.
Why not?
I’d think “you shallow, silly person” for about two seconds, take it down then forget about it.
Yeah, you don’t.
Oh, I understand I don’t actually have the right, and have never given grief to anyone who posted one - but I do regard it a little as an invasion of my privacy. It does bother me that it can be done without my OK.
Depends a lot on how unflattering or embarassing the photo is.
I mean, yes, there are times when people take pictures that are obviously embarassing. Rear views are seldom flattering.
But there’s a lot of times when we as people look at a picture and I see that it looks like I didn’t comb my hair, and Susie sees that her bra strap is showing, and Joe sees you can tell he cut his chin shaving that morning.
Someone else sees a trio of people having a good time.
And some people NEVER see a picture of themselves that they like.
I never post a picture of anyone without asking them first, and my friends generally do the same. If anyone ever asked me to remove a picture of them, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I don’t much care what their reasons are, why would I want to make them uncomfortable?
That said, there are a bunch of pictures of me from our high school reunion posted by other people that include hanging bra straps and unflattering rear views. I probably wouldn’t have posted them if they were mine, but I figure that, like Eureka says, they’re just pictures of us having a good time. I don’t imagine that anyone other than me is obsessing over pictures of me. 