As I sat earlier today, contemplating that a recent eBay purchase still not arrived and I very possibly got ripped off, I thought: Hey! Maybe someone intercepted the package, and instead of a messenger bag, I’ll get a messenger bag stuffed with cash!
Unlikely, I now. But that got me going into the world of what-if. So: You come home from work one day, and there’s a box (or two!) sitting on your porch. You drag it inside, open it, and discover that it’s completely packed with bundles of 100s. And this isn’t a little shoebox here, this is a cardboard box with a few million bucks in it. Your name is on the box, and you don’t recognize the return address?
Now, before you respond ‘party!’ or something similar, think about it. Someone just sent you a box of money. A whole crapload of money. My first reaction would be some very paranoid thoughts that, through some horrible misunderstanding, I’d gotten caught up in some money-laundering scheme or something. Probably, I’d call the police, because I’d be too freaked out to think of anything else to do.
Ideally, the police would say, ‘hey, it’s yours, have fun’. If so I’d probably still panic, because I have no idea what to do with a paycheck over more than $300, let alone a few million.
Report it to the cops is really the only safe option. I wouldn’t want to even take $100 of it and turn the rest on only to find the secret service wondering where that counterfit $100 went. Then again, what if I turned it in and the mafia came to my door looking for all of it? :eek:
If you take $5000.00 in cash to a bank any bank they must by law register your name as a possible money launderer if you bring $10,000 in cash they have to file a suspicious activity report (SAR) with the Federal government. See BSA act.
A few million? I’d keep it around for a week to see if anyone came looking for it. If not, then off to the police. Assuming no one claims it, then I’d pay off my debts, set my daughter up for college and beyond, and then begin to live the life for which I was clearly destined.
Definitely call the cops. I’d figure that the money was probably meant for a drug deal or something, and a pack of rather nasty people were probably out looking for it.
Not so much honesty, as I’d find coming upon boxes of cash on my doorstep just too, too weird and so weird that I’d worry about whether it was legit or not. Probably would try to call the police (I say try, because they’re usually too busy to attend house break-ins these days, so why bother about some nutter with boxes of the folding stuff?)
A million bucks in a box on my front porch? Stinks of corruption, if you ask me. I’d be much more worried about when and where the mobster that wants his money back is going to kick my ass. I would put as much distance as possible between me and said cash. My life is fine, thankuverymuch.
It was sent by someone who knows your name and where you live. Report it.
A “friend” of mine once picked up a closed umbrella at a bus stop. When the “friend” opened it a couple of weeks later, a pile of money and a plastic bag with white powder in it fell out. My “friend” flushed the powder and kept the cash.
This one is simple. I have access to a few safes, secure storage places, and safety deposit boxes. I would distribute the money between them and just use the money over time for cash purchases. I would keep my job and my wife would keep hers. We would just use the cash to supplement our income in an extremely hard to track way over a lot of time. No giant purchases or anything like that. I could easily use the money over 20 - 30 years without anyone ever knowing.
Heh, I thought something similar. What would happen if a thief on the run threw a bag of money over our back wall and in his haste forgot which one he threw it over. Leaving me, the next day, to pick it up and wonder.
I agree about the rash of honesty, I’d secrete the money somewhere safe, in small, multiple lumps and take a bit now and again. That or ask my ex-banker father what to do with it all
Eh, it’s not naive to take it to the cops, it’s smart. If the money is counterfeit you will probably not be able to tell but a store or bank owner will. I’d care about that more than returning the money to its rightful owner, which would really be me since my name is on the package.
Once I get it back I’d put it in a variety of different safes and hiding places (no depositing it in banks, that’s for sure) and live off it. If it’s a few million I’ll quit my job, if a few thousand I’ll just use it to supplement. No big flashy purchases or anything, that’s not my kind of lifestyle and it would draw attention. I’d pay for everything in cash or money orders so I wouldn’t have to use a checking account. Profit!
You don’t have to go to the cops with the entire load. Take one bill. Take five randomly sampled to your bank. Say you sold your couch for cash and this is what the guy gave you but you are not certain it’s real. If it turns out that the money was printed in North Korea, you’ve kept yourself out of jail and can now try to find a buyer for (25 cents on the dollar or something) who’d be willing to take on the risk.
