…a pirate, but not the kind that rots away of horrible diseases and gets people’s intestines on his shoes, the other kind, from the movies.
…an astronaut, so I could say I had left the earth a while, and so I could dream I was on a spaceship and then wake up on a spaceship. Or maybe just: Ensign Edison*, of the Starship Excelsior. (All my Captain Sulu people in the house say heey-ay! Give us our show!)
…a cowboy, miles away from everyone except maybe another cowboy who doesn’t talk a lot. Just think, two years ago I could have said that and 30% fewer of you would be thinking something gay now.
…a primatologist. I want to look at chimps and orangs all day. Who wouldn’t? And I’d like to live in the places they do, for a while.
…a big-time Hollywood producer, snorting coke off the asses of future stars*. I’d tool around town in a cherry-red convertable and have terrible hair and still get taken seriously, because I would have more money than God and no moral code whatsoever.
…a really, really high-class whore.
…fifteen years old again, so I could do some things better and others not at all. But I relive it enough in my damnably vivid imagination, so I guess scratch this one and make it ‘fifteen years old again for the first time’.
…a librarian. Sampiro, are you any good at poker? Maybe we could trade for a day. Or a nurse, but I couldn’t do it, I know that. I like hospitals, especially at night, though. And hotels - so maybe I should add hotel cleaner here too. They all connect in my head. Secret rustling kinds of jobs.
…a socialite on the town, partying like the sun will never rise and nobody ever dies and the hungry world outside isn’t eating anyone alive. Dancing on tables isn’t my style; I’m the one in the dark booth in the corner, holding court, chainsmoking and drinking bottle after bottle of incredibly expensive wine.
…on Mars.
*Name change pending?
*I’m Irish, and therefore I’ll make any joke. In real life, I hate cocaine, and snorting things off people doesn’t work as well as it should anyway.