Sometimes you just *HAVE TO* flip people off

The BBQ Pit
1

Perhaps you don’t ever feel the undeniable urge flip someone the bird. Bless you for your restraint. But I simply was not able to help myself this afternoon.

Once again, I was on the light rail–the Mt. View Winchester line, as usual. Today I found myself sitting a few seats away from a belligerent drunk ex-con (how I discovered this will be revealed). When the train got underway, the unruly fellow pulled a 40oz bottle out of his backpack, only semi-concealed by a plastic bag. Making a show of it for the rest of the passengers, he guzzled down a couple of big swallows of malt liquor. Then, he defiantly gazed at us with glassy eyes, daring anyone to make eye contact.

Behind the safety of very dark sunglasses, I stared at him and scowled. He glared back at me malevolently, but seemed too inebriated to accomplish much else. Distracted momentarily, he put his beverage away, pulled out an Ipod, cranked the volume, and put on his headphones. He started swaying to whatever tune he had blasting in his cranium, and began making violent hand gestures, throwing signs, and flipping the bird to anyone within range, including me.

At the next stop, in a moment of quiet introspection, he regarded his bandaged finger. He made an announcement: “I CUT THE FUCK OUTTA MY FINGER!”, then he pulled the bandage off and threw it on the floor. An elderly woman sitting nearby asked that he watch his language. He replied, “Sure, ma’am, I’ll do it for you…but not for the rest of them!”, gesturing again with his wounded paw in my general direction.

He reached back into his backpack, and out came a large pot pipe. “Hey, do you think they’ll bust me if I smoke up?” Then, in the gregarious way of drunks everywhere, he confided to the guy sitting next to him, “Those transit cops are pussies anyway! I’ve been in State Prison, I’m not afraid of them!” This got a rise out of the elderly lady, who admonished him again. "I can handle PRISON GUARDS, ma’am, those wanna-be cops don’t scare me!"

Alas, it was my stop. No more urban jungle theater for me. I gathered my belongings and made my way to the door, right next to where the brute was sitting. In a cowardly show of bravado, I stuck my middle finger straight into his face before lightly stepping off the train. I didn’t look back, but I could hear him bellow as the doors swished shut:

"You punk white boy bitch!!! I’m going to fuck your ass up next time!!"

Yeah, sure you will. As if you’ll remember any of it after you’ve slept if off, ASSHOLE.

2

Restraint, nothing. My medial digit should by just about worn out by now.

3

Certainly understandable. But it looks as if he was trying hard to annoy the hell out of you (and others) and your gesture doubtless confirmed to him that he’d succeeded.

4

You are probably right. He got my goat if that was his aim.

OTOH, I can easily imagine him feeling fulfilled if no-one had done anything. "HAR HAR HAR! Nobody would even look at me! I totally pwn’d those jerks! What a bunch of friggin’ sheep!!"

5

Ooooh you badass! You showed him!

6

I flipped somebody off the other day too,** blondebear**. Mild mannered little ol’ me!

This guy in a debris-hauling truck (pulling a trailer of debris also) was entering the highway and just couldn’t wait for me to scoot past him before he moved over. So he just moved over anyway. I laid on the horn, but saw it would be foolhardy to refuse to give way. So I moved over.

I then slowed down enough to stare out the window at him and give a big fat bird. :stuck_out_tongue:

I was suitably embarrassed, later.

7

As my sweet neice would say, I’m just showing you my longest finger.

8

Also, if they’re eight and make fun of you for smoking. Because that shit’s just not cool.

9

Are you just playing Devil’s advocate here, or are you actually a jackass?

10

It’s a good idea not to drive in the same lane that people entering the freeway have to merge into. That really bothers me, and more than once I’ve considered ignoring the person in the lane who obviously doesn’t “get it” and just merging anyway.

Driving isn’t a competition. I wish more people would do simple considerate things like staying the fuck out of the merging lane, and not sitting in the right lane when you don’t intend to turn, so when the light stops you the 5 people behind you that ARE turning get screwed over.

11

I wonder where people such as the ex-con get the idea that certain police officers are “wannabe cops.”

12

The older I get the more free I am with the bird.

People who run red lights when I’ve got the green light…people who cut me off…people who tailgate…people who drive 50 in the left lane on the freeway…people who make right-hand turns at the speed of molasses in January…

It’s up for debate whether or not these folks have earned my middle finger, but they’re getting it regardless.

I used to be equal parts afraid and polite.

Now I’m equal parts unafraid and couldn’t-give-a-flying-fuck.

I don’t think it’s an improvement, but it’s my personal evolution.

leaves thread flipping the bird for no real reason

13

I have the same urge, but generally manage to suppress it, especially for more or less routine driving situations. It seems to me that such gestures rarely make things much better, and have decent potential to make them worse.

They are likely to produce a reaction along the lines of “Well, maybe I shouldn’t be driving in the left lane at this speed, but that guy’s obviously a real jerk and I’m glad I got in his way” (if not something considerably more violent). They seem to me to be an indication (whether correct or not) that the bird-flipper lacked the skill or temperament to handle the situation gracefully and lost his cool.

14

You are 100% correct.

It’s a petty, foolish, stupid gesture. It’s the adult equivalent of “I know you are but what am I?”

It’s almost guaranteed to provoke an equally childish response.

I didn’t say my personal evolution was towards becoming a better person.

:smiley: :smack:

15

And when the cops respond to the accident you caused who would get in trouble? You. Because you’re fucking wrong! YOU are the one who “doesn’t get it”.

YOU are merging into traffic, YOU have to yield to the traffic that is already there. It doesn’t matter if they can change lanes or not, they don’t have to. I change lanes when I can to be nice not because I have to and it pisses me off when the left lane is occupied and I can’t move over and some self important self absorbed asshole coming up the on ramp wants to try to occupy the space I’m already in.

You don’t like it if people don’t change lanes? Then turn in your divers license because you shouldn’t be behind the wheel.

16

This is fine for a three lane highway, but most highways around here are just two lane highways (i.e. two lanes in each direction).

In this case, I’d prefer people drive in the right lane, rather than drive slowly in the passing lane. However, they should be cognizant of merging traffic, and either allow traffic to merge in, or move over to the left lane when necessary, then get back over to the right.

But a flat out statement that it’s a “good idea not to drive in the same lane that people entering the freeway have to merge into” makes no sense for a two lane highway. You’d put all the traffic in the left lane then, which would encourage the maniacs to pass everyone in the right lane at 90 mph. This is a much more unsafe situation for people trying to enter the highway.

17

Meh.

As long as you were caving to impulses, you should have punched him in the head, IMHO.

18

This is exactly what I was thinking, I’m glad someone else feels the same way I do.

19

Ha! You read my mind! :slight_smile:

20

Hey, he had a lane right there, it wasn’t necessary for him to come over at that precise place. This is a spot with 4 lanes; he had already come into the 4th and was wanting to come over to the 3rd. I was already 1/3 past him; why can’t HE be the polite one and wait for me to come by? I was going faster than he as well.

And please don’t lecture me about driving not being a competition. I am not competitive in the least. I am the mildest driver you could possibly want to meet. I regularly let people in to long lines, wait for others, use my signal, etc. etc. In this situation I was already committed to passing the guy, he just had his panties in a wad and couldn’t wait for me. Since he was bigger he just muscled on over.