Ohio is apparently much more uptight about marijuana use than Illinois. My son was busted numerous times for his own personal stash and never did time. He had to be bailed out of jail ($100) and do community service and that sort of thing. Sometimes the cops just took it from him and sent him on his way. Sometimes they just looked the other way. I guess they figure it’s a lot of paperwork for something that isn’t hurting anyone.
I don’t think a local jail is going to be a big deal for your son. I don’t believe he’ll be sexually assaulted, and probably won’t be in any fights. Most people do that amount of time fairly easily, keep to themselves, and just want it to be over with.
I don’t think it will make him quit smoking pot; it will just make him more careful (hopefully). Just as your moral code on the subject is different from many of the posters here, it’s also different from your son’s. I don’t see any moral difference at all, and in fact, think pot is less harmful than booze. I know that doesn’t make a difference in your particular situation, but I think the tide has turned; most people want the stuff decriminalized. He’s not hurting anyone by doing it, and he’s made it clear he feels no moral obligation to give it up.
A point I shoulda mentioned. I had to encounter people worse off than I was who got there the same way I was travelin’, before I really gave any thought to the idea of “Am I doing the right thing? Is this good? Am I going to wind up like this gibbering lunatic, or that pathetic loser, or that jailbird?”
My brother spent about 30 days or so for violating his probation (failed drug test). That was about three years ago and he hasn’t been in trouble since. He still does his partying, he’s just a lot smarter about it. No problem. He’s an adult, and if he wants to take his chances, that’s his business.
It could be worse, your son could be on real drugs. I can’t even believe there are “Marijuana Anonymous” groups. Sorry, but that makes me laugh.
People can become habituated to MJ, even if not physically addicted. I’m hoping Qadgop is still here and can correct me if necessary.
As for “x anonymous” groups, you don’t have to be addicted to “x” to have problems from using “x”. A person might wind up in Marijuana Anonymous after being caught driving under the influence.
I can’t help you about prison, but I can answer this one :
None. Nothing. Zilch. I’ve been a regular marijuana user (every day) and I quitted suddenly because I’ve had a panick attack while under influence. There was no withdrawal, no craving, nothing. I’ve known several people who used to smoke and don’t anymore for various reasons and nobody ever complained about withdrawal. You might not believe me according to the rest of your post, but marijuana isn’t addictive.
Now, maybe if he was a very heavy smoker for a long time, perhaps he could miss his joints, but that would be psychological, not withdrawal. I know out of experience there’s a craving and a withdrawal when you smoke tobacco, but there’s no such thing with marijuana.
It takes roughly some hours or less, the time for the effects to dissipate. Once again direct experience. One thinks perfectly normally when not under influence. Think about someone who had some drinks. It doesn’t take weeks to think normally again. Same thing with marijuana.
Let me just clarify that I am well aware that marijuana is not physically addictive. I was thinking in terms of psychological addiction. It is his coping mechanism, he’s told me, for keeping his anger and depression under control. It is his crutch, and now he’s in a crappy situation with no crutch.
As to my moral stance, well, bite me. I don’t believe in doing things that are blatantly illegal. I’ve lived with an alcoholic, and there wasn’t anything good about addiction. And I would prefer not to live with smoke of any kind. If adults make the choice to indulge, well, it’s like my opinion of tattoos. It’s not something kids should be doing. And he’s been doing this a long time.
The thing about thinking more clearly after it’s been out of your system for a while came from an article I read about the addiction problems of a young woman. She had gone through rehab (outpatient) many times but had never even come close to quitting. It wasn’t until she was jailed for a long period of time where she was forced to get clean that she began to realize what harm her choices had caused, and what emotional impact her addiction had on her family. The article was pretty clear that it was the length of time that her body had been free of chemical influence that was important, and that she had never realized how much her thought patterns had been affected. I’m pretty sure that marijuana was her drug of choice, because I remember thinking that she was just like my son. I could be remembering wrong, but that fact has stuck with me, and that’s why I asked for clarification. Wish I could find the article.
You don’t have to justify or defend your stance on marijuana, kittenblue, if for no other reason than it is illegal. You have every right to be concerned about your son having it or using it in your house.
Your son is legally an adult but he’s not living independently, and it will be a while before he can. Even pot convictions can make job hunting a helluva lot tougher. In the meantime, no matter how much you may understand why he uses it, he has a reciprocal obligation to respect why you don’t want it around.
I really do sympathize with all you’re going through right now, kittenblue. Life has sure unloaded on you. You can’t change your son’s mind or heart. With any luck, a short stint in the clink will give him a reality check. The most you can do is not borrow trouble. He knows you still love him while not approving for one second of some of things he’s done. The ball is in his court, so just let him do his learning for now. Actions=consequences. You take care of yourself.
Marijuana is a mood-altering drug. Chemically dependent people can’t manage to use mood-altering drugs responsibly. Therefore chemically dependent people need to use whatever means works for them to stop using. This includes groups like Narcotics Anonymous or Marijuana Anonymous.
So you can use marijuana responsibly? Go right ahead. As for those who can’t, you should at least try to avoid mocking how they are trying to help themselves.
Huh? This says to me that you think Marijuana usages is a bad idea rather then intrinsicly morally wrong. I believe there is a fine yet significant difference there. So again, I ask, do you believe marijuana usage is intrinsically morally wrong for any reason other then it is illegal(The simple reason that it is illegal is good enough to smack your son upside the head imho). I ask because I believe it is important for all people to keep and open mind and think deeply about the reasons for their morality. Is it simply bad consequences that dictate morality?
Thats interesting QTM. you wouldn’t happen to know if the same holds true for alcohol? MDMA(pretty sure it does for this one)?
Oddly enough, paraphernalia possession is worse than being caught with small amounts. You have to have 200 grams or more to face jail time, but paraphernalia posession will get you 30 days.
Is that distinction so important, Harmonix? I’m not saying it isn’t, mind, just exploring how far it might impact kittenblue’s immediate situation. She’s had ample experience in her own family with the dangers of, shall we say, self-medicating to blunt the pain of underlying problems. I get the impression the actual morality issues are very intertwined with her highly negative experiences. IOTW, her experiences have been badly tilted on the side of pretty dire consequences, i.e. serious damage to self and loved ones.
I did note that she can and does drink occassionally, so it isn’t like she doesn’t understand the possibility of casual, responsible use. My impression was that her objection was pretty soundly based in the morality/danger of using something to blot out what’s going wrong in life.
Is that the distinction you were making or am I totally off-base? (Which isn’t all that unusual, actually.)
It think it’s pretty clear that she doesn’t believe marijuana usage can be casual and responsible. Her OP clearly dismisses any argument from the side not her own as silly crap. She then references an article that, at least to me, is clearly unscientific and biased. She has not spoken to her son about his usage. She is taking the word of a counselor(from several years back) about the mental state of her son. She is clearly not thinking rationally about the morality of marijuana usage. To her it’s simply Mj = bad. Period the end. there is no middle ground. That is a HORRIBLE way to attempt to get someone off of drugs. There is no understanding, no middle ground, no tolerance and probably no effectiveness.
Ah, now I get the distinction you’re making, Harmonix. Fair enough. Thanks for the extra explanation because my brain wasn’t seeing it, sort of like those “vase or lady’s face” pictures.
But I don’t know how she can “get someone off drugs.” They have to want to do it for themselves. Isn’t that what everyone here is saying?
I don’t think she should have to tolerate him using in her home. What “middle ground” could she give him on this, anyway? Surely not a “middle ground” where she’ll look the other way while he still smokes pot? I am not sure if this is what you are suggesting.
I would encourage her to be empathatic and tell him that she understands he’s not a bad person and that smoking pot does not make him evil. I would suggest that she not be “holier than thou” (I am sure she’s trying to do all of that), but she does not owe him one molecule of flexibility, or “tolerace” or “middle ground” with the actual using of illegal substances in her home. (Once again, not sure if that is what you are suggesting.)
Ack. I previewed, but I’m afraid this part didn’t come out very clear:
Just to make sure I’m understood, I’m saying that I’m sure kittenblue is trying to not be “holier than thou” and is not being discouraging or condemning of her son.
I don’t know whether Kitten’s son had priors or not, but I assure you that probation with counseling is pretty standard practice for drug/paraphanalia busts around here. My ex got a paraphanalia charge, served 10 days, probation for two years, and ordered to attend over $1000 worth of counseling. It’s a racket, and I’m not sure exactly who benefits from it other than the “rehab” facilities.
The court sends you to a facility for an “assessment” on whether or not you need to attend counseling that will make that facility a profit. If that isn’t a conflict of interest, I don’t know what is. But it happens all the time.
I can understand, to a degree, if one has priors, but for a first time offense? 10 days, 2 year probabation, counseling, for a first time offense that involves a pipe in your pocket?
Man, all I can say is, I’m glad I don’t to worry about that sort of thing anymore.
