Song lyrics that make you go "Wait, what?"

The Doobie Brothers’ “Long Train Runnin’” has always seemed like a complete non-sequitor to me.

*Down around the corner
Half a mile from here
You see them long trains runnin’
And you watch 'em disappear

Without love
Where would you be now?*

Huh? I suppose that I’d still be watching the long trains, with or without love.

Post yours but please keep in mind SDMB guidelines of only posting snippets of lyrics and not the entire song.

“I am, I said!
To no one there
And no one heard at all,
Not even a chair.”


“Love Will Find a Way” by Yes:

Here is my heart
Waiting for you
Here is my soul
I eat at Chez Nous.

“Alligator lizards in the air”
“The heat was hot”
“And cause never was the reason for the evening, or the tropic of Sir Galahad”

All brought to you by the band America.

“Guilty feet have got no rhythm.”

Wait, what?!

Not to mention “Jeremiah was a bullfrog.” Love the song, but wth?

Well, it is not a very good lyric, but, granting just a tiny bit of poetic license, it makes a reasonable amount of sense. He is all alone, and lonely, sitting in a chair, probably in an otherwise empty room. He speaks, but no-one is there to hear him, not even the only thing present, the chair (because its a dumb chair, duh!). It is a, clumsy but fairly clear, poetic image of loneliness.

What is the problem? He is feeling guilty so he doesn’t feel like dancing (something which requires a little joie de vivre to do well). Makes perfect sense to me.

The mother lode for truly WTF! lyrics is, surely, I Am the Walrus, for example:
Semolina pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
Elementary penguin singing Hari Krishna.
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.
But really I could have chosen any lines from the song.

Thunder only happens when it’s raining.

Well, that is pretty close to being true. Although you may sometimes hear thunder when it is dry where you are, it is almost certainly the case that is raining underneath the cloud that is actually producing the thunder. There may be rare exceptions, but “thunder typically only happens when it is raining” would not fit the song very well.

The bridge of “Blow” by Kesha:

Go insane
Go insane
Throw some glitter
Make it rain on 'em
Let me see them hands
Let me, let me see them hands

Also, she pronounces “hands” almost identically to “Hanes” (i.e., underwear.) I’m inclined to think this was intentional. The video is also very strange. In my opinion, they are the best song and video of the year.

I give you “Solar Prestige a Gammon,” by Elton John (off the Caribou album):

Oh ma cameo molesting
Kee pa a poorer for tea
Solar prestige a gammon
Lantern or turbert paw kwee

OK - now I want to write a song called The Bridge of Blow

A lot of Dream Theater’s early lyrics seem very nonsensical. Compelling poetry, perhaps, but in terms of literal meaning… wtf?

Dust fills my eyes
Clouds roll by and I roll with them
Centuries cry
Orders fly and I fall again

I think the Cars can give America a run for the money:

You got your nuclear boots
And your drip-dry glove,
And when you bite your lip
It’s some reaction to love…

Um, what?

Heh. I came in here to comment that some of these would probably be misheard lyrics. Turns out the joke’s on me.

I always thought it was ‘‘you’ve got to wiggle your boots.’’

But definitely second the Cars.

One of my favorite Weezer songs, ‘‘Dope Nose,’’ has this bit of wisdom:

Cheese smells so good
On a burnt piece of lamb
Fag of the year
Who could beat up your man

While I’m no fan of Kesha and I’m not sure I’ve even heard this song, this seems pretty straightforward to me. She’s encouraging the listeners to go crazy on the dance floor and wave their hands in the air. There are probably thousands of other songs saying basically the same thing.

Well, there are an awful lot of candidates from the late 60s…

“She came in through the bathroom window
Protected by a silver spoon
But now she sucks her thumb and wanders
By the banks of her own lagoon”

“She said there is no reason
And the truth is plain to see
That I wandered through my playing cards
And would not let her be”

“All your love is gone
So sing a lonely song
Of a deep blue dream
Seven horses seem to be on the mark”

“Although your world wonders me
With your majestic and superior cackling hen…”

Let me go on like I blister in the sun
Let me go on, big hands I know you’re the one.

Actually all of Blister In The Sun. Stained sheets? Why? Not even the singer knows.

Is there gas in the car?
Yes, there’s gas in the car.

I mean, it’s a perfectly rational question and answer, but the context is just odd.

From “Calendar Girl”

“You’re the Easter Bunny when you smile.”

Okay, does that mean she has buck teeth? And if so, does he think telling her that is likely to make her want to “march down the aisle” with him (as he says in the previous line)?

I’ve heard that in some parts of the south, a bullfrog is someone that sits around and drinks all day. That would explain why the singer couldn’t understand him as well as the wine comments.