My children have corrupted ‘Secret Agent Man’ into ‘She’s an Asian Man’ which completely cracks me up now when I hear that song.
WHAT:eek::smack: Those aren’t the real words? I just googled it, and I’ve been singing it wrong all these years!!
- shakes heads no *
One-ton tomaaaaato!
I eat a one-ton tomato!
All together, now! With guitars!
Oh, you just reminded me:
Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful,
And since we’ve no place to go,
Get a ho! Get a ho! Get a ho!
I came here to post Secret Asian Man.
Thanks for that, Johnny Rivers.
Hey now, you’re a rock star
Get the show on, get* laid***
one ton of metal
I need a one ton of metal
we thought the following was hilarious at thirteen:
strangers in the night
exchanging rubbers
this one is too tight
could be I’ll find another
“count the head lice on my hiney”
Me too!!!
My contribution:
Hiding in my room
Safe within my womb
I fuck no one and no one fucks with me
This is a little different from writing actual alternate lyrics, which I’ve done for a number of songs; some of them are even printable. Here’s one:
I want a new god
One that treats me real well
One that won’t make me feel all guilty
Or send me to hell
I want a new god
One that isn’t too weird
One that doesn’t have eighteen arms
Or a long white beard
One that won’t make commandments
Telling me what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with youuuu…
There’s a bunch where I’ll change the subject or object to the more personally appropriate gender.
I modified the lyrics of Indigo Girl’s Rick n Roll Heavens Gate to be about my Dad’s passing.
It’s “one foot in sea one on shore” but I always sing “one verdant sea, one on shore”.
Oh, the weather outside is frightful,
But your thighs are so delightful,…
Heart’s Heartless:
Heartless, hardass…
Later on, we’ll perspire as we roast by the fire.
To face, so afraid, the bills left unpaid.
Walking in a winter wonderland.
“Dirty Deeds, and they’re done with Sheep”
I shouldn’t admit this, but in ‘Gimme Three Steps’:
Wait a minute mister,
I didn’t even fist her.
And be a Juice Box Hero got stars in his eyes.
ETA: Thanks to my son who thought those were the lyrics, since he’d never heard of a jukebox before.
His name was Rico
He was a douchebag…
Men Without Hats:
You can dance
You can dance
Everyone come in your pants
Paul Simon:
Who do…
Who do you think you’re foolin’
I’m a constipated man
The Ganja Boat Song:
*Work all night on a line of coke (daylight come mon me wan get stoned)
Been so long since I had a toke (daylight come mon me wan get stoned)
Come mista tally mon tally mary-juana
Come mista tally mon fill my boat with ganja
Load six bales, seven bales, eight bales, TON! (daylight come mon me wan get stoned)*
Don’t forget the last lines…
This one is too loose
It could fit a MOOOOOOOOOSE!!