Songs that make you want to stick pencils in your ears

[Annie-Xmas]

@The_Stainless_Steel_Rat

I’ve Never Been to Me - Charlene (Possibly the worst lyrics in the history of Western Civilization

I think she gets some competition from Gordon Lightfoot’s Sundown

I’ve been undressed by kings
And I’ve seen some things
That a woman ain’t supposed to see.
I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.

vs.

She’s been looking like a queen
In a sailor’s dream
And she don’t always say what she really means.
Sundown you better take care
If I find you been creeping down my back stair.

[MrDibble]

@JohnT

This song has the immortal lyric “There’s only one of you. That’s the funnest part of you.” Just brilliant, that, rhyming “you” with “you”.

“you” and “you” is not the rhyme in those lines…“one” and “fun” are. It’s like people never heard of internal rhyme.

[xizor]

@Annie-Xmas

I think she gets some competition from Gordon Lightfoot’s Sundown

I’ve been undressed by kings
And I’ve seen some things
That a woman ain’t supposed to see.
I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.

vs.

She’s been looking like a queen
In a sailor’s dream
And she don’t always say what she really means.
Sundown you better take care
If I find you been creeping down my back stair.

Both are mere amateurs when compared to the ineptitude from the mind of Kanye West:
Drop it to the floor, make that ass shake
Whoa, make the ground move, that’s an ass’quake
Built a house up on that ass, that’s an ass’state
Roll my weed on it, that’s an ass’tray

[Ellis_Aponte_Jr]

@burpo_the_wonder_mutt

One Hell of a Woman – Mac Davis

She’s one hell of a woman
Young, strong and tame Puke Smiley

I know this song from Vikki Carr’s version, in which she sings this line, “Young, strong, and tan” which I alway thought was funny - boasting about your tan.