Spam Filler or Vogon Poetry?-You Decide!

I happened to see this lovely bit of doggerel while dumping some spam:

mountainously jarringness enhancements maiden
million antioch hyponome
restraining resmelting Popsicles foxtongue
Hom intrasynovial Neva

That third line really speaks to me. :stuck_out_tongue:

Awesome! All I get lately is nonsensical prose.

Hmm, so Vogsphere is actually the source of the Spam scourge, interesting, explains rather a lot, really

Cry Havoc and let loose the Bugblatter Beasts of War!

[nipick]Cry Havoc and let slip the Bugblatter Beasts of War![/nipick]

Sorry… my favorite Shakespearean speech in my favorite Shakespearean play… just niggled at me… not trying to be a dick…

I’ll go away now

[nipicking a nipick]Actually, Lullifer had it first, and he said, (allowing for translation into English as closely as possible,) ‘Cry havoc and let loose the wolves of war’

[book naration]An altairian hitchhiker is now known to have dropped his somewhat smudged copy of ‘the songs of the long land’ while visiting Stratford in the late fifteen-hundred-and-somethings and, before he had realized his loss and gone back to retrieve it, the text was found by a local chap named William. He couldn’t read it of course, but demanded and received some not-terribly-great translations as his price for returning the book…[/bn][/nan]
Oh, not really. But it was fun to type out!

This deserves some careful analysis.

Line 1: Obviously waxing poetic about some rather large breast implants that grab the attention of any seeing them.

Line 2: Warning of the rise of Cthulhu and his million minions from the depths near ancient Antioch. A frightening picture indeed. hyponome is of course the well known organ of locomotion for cephalopods.

Line3: A cryptic message from the depths of time. It is little known that foxtounge was an ancient weapon of slaying Kraken and their ilk. Apparently the weapon needs to melted down and then cold forged like a Popsicle.

Line4: A small prayer, it looks like gibberish, but actually was a common heartener of the ancient warriors of ancient Mu. They worshiped a God named Neva.
My small contribution to poetical analysis.


Oh man, this is sooo easy. Which part don’t you get? Allow me to translate:

Too big breast implants are more disturbing
than a million hypnotized liberal arts students in Yellow Springs.
Shove poison popsicles and ham up their noses? Never!

Though I’m not totally certain of line 2 – it would seem to me that “a million hypnotized liberal arts students” is redundant.

I thought it was rather good. Some of the metaphysical imagery was really particularly effective… Interesting rhythmic devices too, which seemed to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor of the humanity… er Vogonity… of the poet’s compassionate soul…

On a somewhat related note, I give you: The Vogon Poetry Generator.

If it is from the Vogsphere then resistance is useless.

Spam poetry must be the new fad, just got this:

A salamander scuttles across the quiet
I am sleeping, and dreaming, and wandering along
trainer flips young alligators over on their backs,
Life, or only joy, that stands out
VI. Smeerenburg and the Whale-Oil Rush
XVII. Greenland
Of Boyg of Normandy . . .
Away from their profundity of surface.
And piled up at the base of the columns
And piled up at the base of the columns
Sculpting each tree to fit your ghostly form.
“Be off!” say Winter’s snows;
Palladio who beckons from the other shore,
To listen, by the sputtering, smoking fire,
But what I am looking at is hardened snow,
Columbuses or Gamas, ever pass,
Late February, and the air’s so balmy
Partly stone, partly the absence of stone,
Chose to walk out of it, they’d have to pass

My best friend is an English major who has been doing some grad research on spam poetry. Not really sure what he is researching exactly but he sends me some entertaining stuff from time to time.