*SPAM* Is your cock flaccid? *SPAM*

Men, is your cock flaccid? Limp and lifeless? Is your prize stud a goner?

There IS hope, but you must act FAST!!!

The new COCK DEFIBRILLATOR from Parker Stevens Perez Cia. de Jalisco stimulates choked chickens, returns life to beaten birds. Your cock will stand up and crow, fully revived!

With a push of the pink button, a friendly female voice guides you gently, leads you through the simple electrode placement and massage procedure. Several jolts of stimulative electricity will revive your cock softly but firmly, reintroducing him to the joys of life.

Revival GUARANTEED–or your money back!!!

A must for both casual raisers and pros, the COCK DEFIBRIALLATOR is UL inspected, non-animal-tested, and hypoallergenic.

Call now–operators are standing by! 1-866-COC-LIFE

But what if, even after revival, my cock requires additional length and girth to have a chance of success in the fight?

Zombie Cocks? Not a good idea.

Yes, it is flaccid. Oh no! I’ll be changing that in a little bit though. Shall I post back with an update?

If your pecker isn’t perky try Cocksure!

I could spam for a living. I swear I could. Too bad I have a soul.

The quicker-pecker-upper!

The Quicker Pecker Picker Upper.

Oooh! I’ll have to order some for the store. I’ll call up my wholesaler right away and pick a peck of Quicker Pecker Picker Upper.

Ponder Picks a Peck of Quicker Pecker Pepper Upper Pronto, Poor Ponders Pecker!

:dubious: What kind store do you run, anyway?

**Ponder’s Penile Products **

I’m not sure. All I know is I work for chicken feed!

These newfangled things may be OK, but some guys prefer good old-fashioned mouth-to-meat resuscitation.

When I feel peckish I stir fry some chicken.

I call it “Cock of the Wok”

The Quicker Pricker Pecker Picker Upper.

Now available at Mustang Ranch! Y’all Cum, here?

fnord.

Also available at the Chicken Ranch Brothel. It’s thinger-lickin’ good!

And Hooter’s Air TITillating Flights!

Also available at:

**Stella’s Cat House **
Liquor in the front, poker in the rear.

Mrs. Prefect (who’s name is Stella) tells me she prefers Liquor in the front and Poker in the front. None of that rear stuff for her. :frowning: