Mr. Allen, this may come as a surprise to you, but there are some men who don’t end every sentence with a proposition.
Things are getting too complicated.
Well, now, uh, read me all the words you don’t understand.
Garbage. All I’ve been thinking about all week is garbage. I mean, I just can’t stop thinking about it.
Please be quiet I don’t wanna slip. Ok one more. You get this right, I’ll let ya go. If you get it wrong you are fucked! Ok, whose my favourite movie star?
I don’t know… M… Marilyn Monroe!
Hi. It’s me, don’t you remember? The tomato from upstairs.
Three tomatoes are walking down the street. Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato. Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry. Goes back and squishes him and says, “Ketchup.”
Hey Dad, why do you love me more than your other children?
I want kids that love me as much as I hated my mother.
Mama always said, God is mysterious.
Is that to say, John, that what you were doing was God’s good work?
We’re on a mission from God.
Captain, I relieve you of your command of this ship. COB, escort the Captain to his state room. I’m assuming command.
Well, Commander, we ain’t that stoned. We’re not that stoned if we’re gonna go out onto that beach and take pictures of the dead bodies floating in with no film in the camera!
Captain, please, the XO is right. We can’t launch unless he concurs.
Captain, the entire reason for having two missile keys-- is so no one man can launch the missiles! Perhaps I should hold onto his key.
Captain. Please, I apologize. The complexities of human pranks escape me.
This is the captain speaking. Some misguided sailors on this ship still think they can pull a fast one on me. Well, they’re very much mistaken.
Remember, there are no bad crews, only bad leaders.