You just don’t say “Oops.” What “oops”?
You stupid fucking cunt. You, Williamson, I’m talking to you, shithead. You just cost me $6,000. Six thousand dollars, and one Cadillac. That’s right. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it, asshole? You’re fucking shit. Where did you learn your trade, you stupid fucking cunt, you idiot? Who ever told you that you could work with men? Oh, I’m gonna have your job, shithead.
So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.
The days go on and on… they don’t end. All my life needed was a sense of someplace to go. I don’t believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention, I believe that one should become a person like other people.
Time is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need, the time you need to have the time of your life.
You’ve had your whole FUCKING LIFE to think things over, what good’s a few minutes more gonna do you now?
Check the angular vector of the moon!
Well, that bunch last night was high enough to take over the marines and the navy!
A UFO landed in my pool and they captured me but we made friends and I fed them Pop-Tarts and, um, they’re here now, but Ted’s coming home tonight so you’ve got to cut their hair.
Yes, come in and say: 'Sir, I would like my hair cut, if you have time. "
See, in my day, a barber was more than just somebody who sit around in a FUBU shirt with his drawers hanging all out. In my day, a barber was a counselor. He was a fashion expert. A style coach. Pimp. Just general all-around hustler.
Yeah, what are you goofy? Yellow’s the new khaki!
You can’t wear white after Labor Day!
Nobody likes the whites but we’re going to Cuba. You got Dramamine?
No, no I’m always like this it’s um… motion sickness. When I was a kid, I uh… puked on my tricycle.
Kids, a museum is where we observe. We don’t play.
And up ahead is one of my favorite creatures in the whole museum: the capuchin monkey, a highly intelligent primate, known for its loving and generous nature.
And you! You hired a monkey to paint your apartment. How do you sleep at night?
Tonight, tonight
Won’t be just any night
Tonight there will be no morning star
There are shadows in the sky
Dancing in the air
Calling to my heart
Saying, “If you dare,
We’re running fast
We’re running far
Trying to catch the morning star…”