Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go piss on the fish.
Wanda? Wanda!!
So I gotta ask you, Neil, did you ever get it on with Wanda off the set?
Wanda, do you have any idea what it’s like being English? Being so correct all the time, being so stifled by this dread of, of doing the wrong thing, of saying to someone “Are you married?” and hearing “My wife left me this morning,” or saying, uh, “Do you have children?” and being told they all burned to death on Wednesday. You see, Wanda, we’ll all terrified of embarrassment. That’s why we’re so… dead. Most of my friends are dead, you know, we have these piles of corpses to dinner. But you’re alive, God bless you, and I want to be, I’m so fed up with all this. I want to make love with you, Wanda. I’m a good lover - at least, used to be, back in the early 14th century. Can we go to bed?
At least my problems can be solved in one bedroom. You couldn’t solve yours in a thousand!
That’s my bedroom. Nothing ever happened in there.
This is my apartment. It’s not much, but it’s…not much.
This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.
And like that … he’s gone.
How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?
Listen to me, Hercule, and you will learn something. Now then, the facts in this case are: the body of the chauffeur was found in the bedroom of the second maid. Fact! Cause of death: Four bullets in the chest. Fact! The bullets were fired at close range from a .25 caliber Beretta automatic. Fact! Maria Gambrelli was discovered with the murder weapon in her hand. Fact! The murder weapon was registered in the name of the deceased, Miguel Ostos, and was kept, mind you, in the glove compartment of the Ballon Rolls-Royce. Fact!
Stay out of trouble.
Well, ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
I say, trouble right here in River City.
Why sure I’m a billiard player,
Certainly mighty proud I say
I’m always mighty proud to say it.
I consider that the hours I spend
With a cue in my hand are golden.
Help you cultivate horse sense
And a cool head and a keen eye.
Did ya ever take and try to give
An iron-clad leave to yourself
From a three-rail billiard shot?
But just as I say,
It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to score
In a baulk line game,
I say that any boob kin take
And shove a ball in a pocket.
And they call that sloth.
The first big step on the road
To the depths of deg-ra-Day–
I say, first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon,
Then beer from a bottle.
You have a cancer.
It’s not a tumah! It’s not a tumah at all!
I’m not a baby, I’m a tumor.
Sixteen years later, and they’re looking for a baby?
Biology and the prejudices of others conspired to keep us childless.
He has His Father’s eyes!
You put those back right now, young man!