There’s a lot to be said for making people laugh. Did you know that that’s all some people have? It isn’t much, but it’s better than nothing in this cockeyed caravan.
You can’t navigate me. I may do mean things, and I may hurt you, and I may run away without your permission, and you may hate me forever, and I know that scares the living shit outta you 'cause you know I’m the only real thing you got.
You know what I am? I’m your worst fuckin’ nightmare, man. I’m a nigger with a badge. That mean I got permission to kick your fuckin’ ass whenever I feel like it.
Excuse me, sir, but he specifically asked for “niggers”? Well, truth be told … my mother was Irish!
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
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Oh, lawdy, lawdy, he des’prit! Do what he sayyyy, do what he sayyyy!
You know what Nietzsche says: even the strongest have their moments of fatigue. And I’m fatigued, Danny. I’m just… I’m fucking fatigued.
I can see your dirty pillows. Everyone will.
Those aren’t pillows!
Hey, Bunny, it’s not my hand!
At first I couldn’t understand what the pillows where doing in my hands and why you didn’t move, but then I knew, it had happened, I killed my children. I got the rifle, I put it to my forehead and I pulled the trigger…, nothing. And I heard your laughter in the bedroom, you were playing with the pillows as if nothing had happened, and I thought the Lord and his great mercy was giving me another chance.
God has nothing to do with it. In fact, God is never in France this time of year.
What does God need with a starship?
What’s this bullshit? I don’t fuckin’ care! It don’t matter to Jesus. But you’re not foolin’ me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don’t fool Jesus.
Who’s the more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?
Where did you dig up that old fossil?!
We had to dig him out from under the most peculiar things I ever saw.
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Looks just like a dog down there on all fours, doesn’t he?
There are only three things in this world that give unconditional acceptance: dogs, doughnuts, and money. Only money is better. You know why? Because it don’t make you fat, and it don’t poop all over the living room floor.
Everybody likes money. That’s why they call it “money.”