Smalls, you mean to tell me you went home, swiped a ball that was signed by Babe Ruth, brought it out here and actually played with it?
Today (day day day) I consider myself (elf elf elf) the luckiest man (an an an)on the face of this earth (earth earth earth).
Well, I believe in the soul. The cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back. The hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a Constitutional amendment outlawing astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve… and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.
Life sucks. Shit Happens. I’m a student of t-shirts.
And some years later I heard that that fella did come up with a bumper sticker slogan, and he made a lot of money off of it.
Oh my, oh my. Go sell chocolates you Heidi-motherfuckers, go sell cukoo clocks, we got your gold!
Your anagrams are showing, Doctor. Louis Friend? Iron sulfide – also known as fool’s gold.
As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no “I” in team, but there is an “I” in pie.
I want you to say, “You can eat my pudding.”
Boy, Bandini, they’re eating in here because they want to.
Try the cock, Albert. It’s a delicacy, and you know where it’s been.
Boys have a penis; girls have a vagina.
It’s weird, isn’t it? You spend the first nine months trying to get out and the rest of your life trying to get back in.
Well, he called it the Bermuda Triangle. He said that a man could get lost in there and never be heard from again.
Dudes… listen. Our lives suck! Everyone’s nerves are stretched to the max! We’re lost on an island, running from boars and monsters… freakin’ polar bears!
Look, there’s two women fucking a polar bear!
Stu, throw him a bone! Doug already said his dad would pay for everything he eats and everything breaks.
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.
What an excellent day for an exorcism.
This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China – and who, we were told, 2 hours ago, totally ravaged Oshman’s Sporting Goods.