Seven billion people on Earth when the infection hit. KV had a ninety-percent kill rate, that’s five point four billion people dead. Crashed and bled out. Dead. Less than one-percent immunity. That left twelve million healthy people, like you, me, and Ethan. The other five hundred and eighty-eight million turned into your dark seekers, and then they got hungry and they killed and fed on everybody. Everybody! Every single person that you or I has ever known is dead! Dead!
Human thought is so primitive it’s looked upon as an infectious disease in some of the better galaxies. That kind of makes you proud, doesn’t it? huh?
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. More popular and certainly more successful than The Celestial Home Care Omnibus, better selling than Fifty-Three More Things to do in Zero Gravity, and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid’s trilogy of philosophical blockbusters Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God’s Greatest Mistakes and *Who is this God Person, Anyway? *
It’s more comfortable for you to label me as insane
Look, hey - if all of these nuts could just make phone calls, they could spread insanity, oozing through telephone cables, oozing into the ears of all these poor sane people, infecting them. Wackos everywhere, plague of madness.
What film is that from?
^ “Twelve Monkeys”
Looks like we just woke the dead. In that respect, please turn off all pagers and cellphones.
Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much! It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There’s a big difference between MOSTLY dead and ALL dead. Now, mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead… well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do – go through his clothes and look for loose change.
Yeah, but no-one really believes that. Come on, let’s be honest.
You know, everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You’re a miracle! Your stories have NONE of that! They’re not even amusing accidentally! “Honey, I’d like you to meet Del Griffith, he’s got some AMUSING ANECDOTES for you. Oh and here’s a gun so you can blow your brains out, you’ll thank me for it!” I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They’d say, “How can you stand it?” I’d say, “'Cause I’ve been with DEL GRIFFITH. I can take anything!” You know what they’d say? They’d say, “I know what you mean. The shower curtain ring guy. Woah.” It’s like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy doll. I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, that I pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn’t pull it out and snap it back - YOU would. Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! And by the way, you know, when you’re telling these little stories? Here’s a good idea - have a point! It makes it so much more interesting for the listener!
A lot of fun you are. You’re supposed to tease me, give hints, make me guess, you know.
I know you must think this is all very unfair. Maybe that’s an understatement. What you don’t know is – I agree. I wish the world was a place where fair was the bottom line, where the kind of idealism you showed at the hearing was rewarded, not taken advantage of. Unfortunately, we don’t live in that world.
Nice guy? I don’t give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids.
On Wednesdays we wear pink
Mr. Pink sounds like Mr. Pussy. How 'bout if I’m Mr. Purple? That sounds good to me. I’ll be Mr. Purple.
Don’t mention it, uh, Mr. Green, right?
Haha, no. Communism is just a red herring.
We had been everywhere. We had really seen nothing.
Boy, New York sure has changed a lot since my day. They even moved the White House here.