Okay, boss, this LTX-71 concealable mike is part of the same system that NASA used when they faked the Apollo Moon landings. They had the astronauts broadcast around the world from a sound stage at Norton Air Force Base in San Bernadino, California. So it worked for them, shouldn’t give us too many problems.
Look, it’s Cosmo’s moon!
That’s no moon!
Werewolf!
There!
What?
There. . .there wolf! There, castle.
Look deep, Josh. It’s there. It’s 12 moves away, but it’s there. You’ve got him. Take his pawn with your pawn. G takes F6, forking his bishop and rook. Don’t take back with your bishop, you’ll need that to guard E7. He’ll take back, either with his bishop or his knight. When he does - this is the hard part - sacrifice your rook. Capture him on F6 and get him to check. King has to take your rook. He takes F6. Give him the knight to check E7, forking his king and his rook. He’ll move to safety. King F5. Take his rook with your knight. He’ll take back with his king, and you’ve got him! Don’t move until you see it.
I have an excellent idea, LETS CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
Of course. How sssselfish of me. Let’s do all the things that YOU wanna do.
Love to. How about Global Thermonuclear War?
What kind of odds am I getting?
You have been exposed to a lethal dose of radiation. You will experience catastrophic organ failure. In five days’ time, you will die.
I would like to have seen Montana.
I always like to get a kiss when I’m being fucked.
Did he make you cry?
Oh, you zip it, Doris! Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pigshit. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry? NO. And do you know why? Because there’s no crying in baseball. THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! No crying!
I still get such a bang out of it, playing ball. Same as I did when I first come up. You get out there and the stands are full and everybody is cheering. It is like everbody in the world come to see you. Inside that there is the players in there and there yakking it up and the pitcher throws and your looking for that pill and suddenly there is nothing else in the ballpark you and it and sometimes when your feeling right and there is a groove there and the bat just eases into it and meets that ball. When the bat meets that ball you can feel that ball just give and you know it is going to go a long way. Damn, if you don’t feel like your going to live forever.
And they’ll watch the game and it’ll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they’ll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it’s a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again.
Life goes on. A man becomes preeminent, he’s expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms… Enthusiasms… What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? [grabs a baseball bat] Baseball! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork… Looks, throws, catches, hustles - part of one big team. Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on. If his team don’t field… what is he? You follow me? No one! Sunny day, the stands are full of fans. What does he have to say? “I’m goin’ out there for myself. But… I get nowhere unless the team wins.”
You play ball like a girl!
The next time I have a daughter, I hope it’s a boy!
This is a nice boy. This is a good boy. This is a mother’s angel. And I want the world to know once and for all, and without any shame, that we love him.