Destiny! Destiny! No escaping that for me!
I’m not The One, Trinity. The Oracle hit me with that too. I’m sorry, I’m not. I’m just another guy.
No. No. Be of good cheer. If science teaches us anything, it teaches us to accept our failures, as well as our successes, with quiet dignity and grace.
I won. I have a date. Gwen and I, Thursday night, 8:00 p.m., dinner. It was the clumsy approach, it worked.
I-I mean I was, at first, really nervous about tonight, uh… but then I decided, darn it! I’m gonna show you the time of your life.
That little wimp. He wouldn’t know a new idea if it hit him in the Pachenga. He wanted some new ideas? I could’ve told him some new ideas!
What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient, highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain, it’s almost impossible to eradicate.
Ideas on earth were badges of friendship or enmity. Their content did not matter. Friends agreed with friends, in order to express friendliness. Enemies disagreed with enemies, in order to express enmity.
You see, their young enter through the ears and wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later, as they grow, follows madness and death.
Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly – they’ll go through anything. You read and you’re pierced.
Excuse me, but I was just wondering… why do you wear a stud in your tongue?
It’s the end of the month, they’re out of toilet seat covers!
Subject, Toilet paper. One: on 6 June 1941, this vessel submitted a requisition for 150 rolls of toilet paper. On 16 December 1941 the requisition was returned with stamped notation, ‘Cannot identify material required.’ Two: the commanding officer of the USS SeaTiger cannot help but wonder what is being used at the Caviti Supply Depot as a substitute for this unidentifiable material once so well known to this command.
I fart in your general direction!
If I hear so much as a mouse fart in here the rest of the night I swear by God and sonny Jesus you will all visit the infirmary. Every last motherfucker in here.
Lighten up, Francis.
Have we an internal sequin issue to deal with, Benjamin?
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
That word is special. That word is only for something really important. Now, repeat after me: Bugger off. Sod. Bloody. Now put them together: Bugger off, you bloody sod!
What the fuck does WTF mean?